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3:07 |
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Hill.
Strange. I lie here, idly,
drifting with the passing clouds, when there floats
across my consciousness as a cloud the following.
A clasping of arms, lip against
lip, a spinning out into Space, myself resting in
his bosom; he mounting higher & higher, but always
the cloud, always an obscuring film. I negative,
inactive, absorbing only, a burden,
Then came realization of
bi-sexual nature of both, the necessity for the
masculine from me. With this came awakening and
clarity, the realization that both natures of the
individual must be simultaneously roused for
surpassing spiritual insight, for a conscious
merging of Souls in ecstacy beyond comprehension.
But for this I need more
growth.
(N.B. This is a distinct
improvement over Lone Pine, where negative side only
was grasped and that through copulation, which no
doubt colored the picture. How thoroughly impersonal
one must be for the vision. This is something to
think of, as there must still be the personal. For,
after all, may this not refer to my merging
with Space, the breaking up of the walls of
individuality and the flowing out into the ‘Sea of
Nothingness’?)
Feeling all in, went to bed
immediately after dinner. |