A.M.

A peculiar man last night.

For a considerable time I seemed in magical circles, going through one experience, rousing sleepily toss about for a time, then on to another.

In one such I sat in a large hall, rear seat. Conscious of something going on back of me—turned & saw various symbols (cut out from wood?) being placed on wall at height of a man. Star in centre, hieroglyphs on it; four oblong planes placed, two horizontally, two perpendicularly, about it, also hieroglyphed. Then came a blond man, partially bald, not out of thirties, and faced the star, standing close to it, trying to achieve something. Presently came the Man, apparently to help, placing a hand on either shoulder of the blond, then turning him away from symbols. I saw blond no more, but noted the Man. Standing by a desk such as one sees in school rooms, nondescript coloring, tall, with a peculiar way of moistening lips, and an extraordinary high forehead. I then noticed two marks on either side of forehead, high up: saw they were eyes, narrow, and they looked as though made of dark mother-of-pearl. The lower eyes were also narrow though somewhat larger. He roused in me only curiosity.

Was distracted from this scene by a young man in front of me who opened a large album-like book and began what he called ‘Crowleyism’. I laughed. My sister now seemed to be to my left. The youth opened a page. I saw a nude woman pictured, with distorted, ill-coloured buttocks; this not confined to surface; entire mass suggesting rot. The sister made a laughing remark, easily, without any restraint as I noted, but I do not recall the remark. Indeed, I did not hear it at the time.

We then passed through halls, off which were rooms, in each of which philosophical or occult studies were being conducted.

P.M.

I feel this afternoon as though I could challenge all the gods—that I, Jane Wolfe, could dare.

There is a gulf between yielding and bestowing.

I love the God of the Talisman, but he can come or not. Should he come, well and good; I rejoice. Should he stay away, it is the same: I rejoice.

Yesterday I saw afar off, to my left but a trifle, a light. To-day I go after that light, by a path leading along left side of a high, precipitous, jagged-edged rocky formation. I find the light is enclosed in a large room which is a part of the rock. I enter this through opening like a doorway but without door, and stand in light, which is not a flame. The enclosure is flooded. The left side of base of skull becomes active: a feeling of expansion. I then rise, straight up, as though rising on a shaft coming from this spot, and see a cylinder of fire (no flames) which I assume to be the sun and to which I draw near. Then return and remain on top of mountain peak: here have a feeling of left lobe of brain being smoothed out—i.e., eased.

Focus then passes slowly over to right lobe. I travel off again and approach what seems to be the moon, though here I stand farther away from the sun. Meantime the right lobe undergoing some experience.

Again return to rock, unite two lobes, and now realize one as light, the other as darkness. Then followed what impressed me as first glimmering of ‘opposites’, the lobes being double-barrelled, the ‘sight’ back of them.

Interrupted here by Giovanni’s “Signora! Signora!!” If I do not answer, he thumps on my door, and when I do answer he gets mad because I do not understand!