A.M.

Waked up at midnight, horribly cold, felt like ice, chills through back. An internal chill, I think, as I knew definitely when I would warm again.

A dream, made interesting by the fact that Lea [Leah Hirsig] saw some time during the night either a black bull or black cow, fierce-eyed, long smooth upturned horns. She regarded it only, not approaching it.

First I was on the go, it seemed in trains, but I am not sure. Then came to Mary Katherine washing clothes; a big tub full, she doing this because woman whose job it was, was elsewhere. I was on my way to a definite place, at the place I would find this woman and tell her to go back to the clothes.

I left M.K. and on my way got a “selfish” note from myself (?), the sin-complex telling us I should stay and help sister? Entered forest and found myself at foot of an exceedingly steep ascent, path narrow, tortuous; brambles, rocks, etc., a plenty. Found myself in small open space in forest, at great height; here stood a one-story squat, spreading house. I then stood on door-step and saw to my right, at corner of house and between it and large tree (stupidly did not note what kind) a black cow, Mary Katherine milking it. I approached the group and was attacked by the cow. First I drew back toward the house, then went forward—without any fear—and grasped it by both horns, noting then they were highly polished, thin, up-curved with sharp points. We struggled, I telling my sister to go round the house and enter by a rear door (which she did). The cow and I continued to tussle, I always drawing nearer the house, she fighting every step. I reached door-step, worked across threshold and told tall, thin woman to my left to slide door along. When I got the horns square across door-way, this woman slid the door toward me, I let go horns and pushed door shut completely.

No emotion of any kind.

I convey this to Russell [C. F. Russell] by means of what French I command (by aid of dictionary) and a picture. He writes: Isis, 4th puisse de la Sphinx. And, “A wish phantasy to break the silence.”

10:07-25

Asana.

Started fair. Two boys rolling iron hoop and shouting outside window. At 10:15 I rise & close kitchen door. Resume, and during last 10’ for first time get realization of necessity for fighting things through. Without this training on physical, one could the more easily fall elsewhere.

10:30-45

Dharana. Steady flame.

Worked into what seemed the most tenuous part of me yet sensed. First reach my negative method. Remain here a bit, negatively, then draw back to more familiar territory, rest a moment, then slowly work way back, linked up with what I have termed “perception”.

10:53-11:13

Harpocrates. Nothing.

11:16-36

Pranayama, 10-20.

P.M.

A feeling of physical fitness—nerve force coming into line?

At table thought of Yi King divination by A.C. on his return from Naples. The tiger. Just what did that mean? I certainly have clawed, bit, scratched and snarled.

2-3

Work on Tarot.

4:10

Shortly after 3 I began Vision work before altar, Lea [Hirsig] in Cefalù. Baron [Baron Carlos La Calce] interrupted shortly thereafter and insisted on being entertained, I with French dictionary in hand. However, I got even. Giosue was mentioned and I hauled out a gun of A.C.’s to ask about oil, cocked it, and he got quite perturbed—in fact, one might say he was scairt!

9:06-23

Asana, good.

9:25-45

Dharana.

Asana last 10’ painful, but stuck it through. Nothing.

9:45-10:05

Harpocrates.

Nothing.

5’ Pranayama, 10-20

3’ “ 15-30, tickle in throat.

No stimulant, but feel this evening almost as boozy as Lea, who took hashish. Now feel almost light-headed.