A.M.

Two other occurrences there were. I did not write down, wishing to train memory, thinking them slight. Cannot now remember.

For 30’ try work. First think emotional gets in; then it seems a power I cannot control; and from this I get into such a state I lose control.

Opium, no doubt; and I hoped to be the conqueror!

So I lie down and after a time become still. Then realize a tremendous yearning of body to unite with mind—a marriage of the two—the full organ tones of the mind realized by the forces of the body. Only so shall I be complete. Never before experienced this. Did I get it last night from opium?

P.M.

Five letters from Paris excite us all. I write A.C. enclosing letter of introduction to Dr. DuBouchet.

After Pentagram read “Flaw in The Defense” & begin “The E String”. Interrupted by Baron [Baron Carlos La Calce]. I study him to-night, and take him to be a man of some decision and will, behind that not specially attractive exterior. Speaking his language fluently one might find something interesting. Excuse myself at eight and to my room.

The rock a surprise, if A.C.’s interruption be correct.

Fee Wah: If you will achieve the “Great Achievement”, etc. I assumed this was to take place—no, that is too definite, I had not thoroughly analyzed that statement; but I expected something big may, 1920. Nothing happening I crossed the ocean rather puzzled. Since my advent in Cefalu, have asked myself if at the end of the “three years”, feeling, however, this might exclude some things told me.

So, May 1921? After the Achievement; the definite work begins.

Or is the “Great Achievement” something else? And right here, does it mean Good Friday and Easter Sunday? “Because of your fear we will spare you this time”. I tried then, 1918 but the agonizing fear!