A.M.

At Fives last evening noted weariness of body. At dinner decided to quit opium, 5 nights of it. At 6:30 decided to go to bed, did so, Tarot a bit. At eight turned out light.

At 6:10 this A.M. waked. Some sleep!

9:35-51

Asana.

Conscious of ear-drums, physical shakiness. Finished vigorous game with Russell [C. F. Russell] at 9:15. Work attempted too soon?

9:55-10:10

Dharana.

Difficult—finally landed. Interrupted by Giovani’s brother at the door, thumping and I, not knowing who it might be, went to door.

Notice thoughts increasingly difficult to banish, I e, they seem more strenuous. Noticed lack of inclination to work. Ear-drums also.

10:15-35

Harpocrates.

First 10’ nothing—second 10 a “breathing” along entire spineycentre between shoulders, solar plexus, throat, then full body. Would I could so breathe against my brains!

10:40-48

Pranayama.

Body wobbly, shake somewhat; but feel splendid.

I am beginning to sense emotions, thoughts of a character humiliating to myself, thoughts and emotions never before touched. And yet am I also conscious of habitation where all is peace, serenity; as of the serene expanse of sky, luminous, impersonal, above clouds of more or less density or murkiness.

And right here I am taking satisfaction in that fact—Bang! Off goes his head! Caught you that time, Mr. Sin Complex. Why should I not take satisfaction in knowing that “somewhere the sun is shining”, and be able to repose in that upper mind experienced in hashish? Albeit, I can understand, of course, that for special development this might or could be cut off from one’s consciousness, and one be left “without a leg to stand on”.

P.M.

3:30

Left Abbey at 1 for a climb up the hill—a new walk and one very beautiful. Return at three. Turkish coffee, and now work of some kind.

Mess around, and finally type on record till 4:50

6:00

Am wondering if I will be rid of my Old Man of the Sea after May. Or, shall he ride me for three years lest I depart the Path, as I did once in California: wiped the slate clean. Had I not staggered back when I could get back, verily would there have been “destruction” indeed.

10:30

Again “spilled the beans”, grabbing Shummy [Ninette Shumway] and dancing with her after Pentagram; and then starting with Genesthai [C. F. Russell] to hear Lea [Leah Hirsig] in a loud voice reading the Abbey record.

(But I know which is the better dancer, I do!)

Later I read aloud Revelations, the two of us cudgeling our brains. Amen.