Think I have made a discovery which not only affects me, but the majority of women. A.C. says I have ‘drivelled’ about him. Maybe I have; which is stupid. Most women look to a certain man, or two, for deliverance—they know not from what. I have been given to understand that A.C. is to be my initiator—therefore I have thought of him, looked to him. But, love? What is love? Now that I look at the matter from this angle, do I really love or am I merely anxious for the initiation that I may understand and go on to my work? I assume the large majority of women whose life is bound up in the men they have married are no more in love than are the men—they simply have learned a bit of self-expression, and needing this they call it ‘love’. Certainly I have known other men who at the time attracted me more than A.C. has ever done; though not being occultists the attraction would doubtless have been worn off in time. (Even so, it would wear off eventually in any case;—I cannot picture myself ‘loving’ one man all my life.)