L'HEAUTONTIMOROUMENOS

Published in the U.K. Vanity Fair

London, England

31 March 1909

(page 405)

By Charles Baudelaire

Translated by Aleister Crowley

          Calm as a headsman at the block

               I smite thee, not for anger’s sake,

          Even as Moses smote the rock;

               And from thine eyelid I will make

          Flow forth the streams of suffering

               To water my Sahara years.

          My swollen passions, maddening,

               Shall swim upon thy sea of tears,

          Like ships beyond the bar that bound.

               And in my heart that they enlarge

          With hope thy dear sobs shall resound.

               A drummer rattling out the “Charge

          For am I not a discord-note

               In God’s great anthem—thanks to thee

          Black Irony with greedy throat

               That shaketh me, devoureth me?

          Through my soft voice this harpy screams!

               My blood, this viper-venom base!

          I, the black mirror by whose gleams

               Megaera watches her own face.

          I am the wound and I the steel;

               I am the buffet and the ear;

          I am the limbs, and I the wheel,

               Victim and executioner!

          The Vampire of my heart am I,

               Lord of that God-forsaken train

          That, damned to laugh eternally,

               Know they can never smile again.

          Translated by Aleister Crowley.