The Cached Ruby
From a Collection of Crowley's Plays and Scenarios
Scene 1. The dining room of the London house of the Duke of Downshire. Above the mantelpiece is a large painting representing the Duke's father in a General's uniform, on horseback, surrounded by his staff. Next to the General is a man in an American uniform, on a white horse.
The Duke, a man of forty, is bidding goodbye to his younger brother, aged 36, Lord Charles Cope. Cope is a fine man physically, but holds himself loosely and listlessly. He looks almost imbecile owing to his habit of keeping his mouth open.
(Introduce episode featuring the famous Cope ruby.)
The Duke points to the picture of the American officer and says, “Colonel O'Brien was our father's best friend. When in New York, try and trace him. I stayed with him as a boy. He had a charming little daughter, Eileen. We went riding together ten years ago — she fell from her pony and has a scar over one ear, very curiously shaped.” A servant knocks at the door to warn Lord Charles that the car is waiting. He leaves accordingly.
Scene 2. The Office of Dr. Turner in New York. The bell rings. Turner hopes for a patient; but it is a dun, of whom he gets rid after a scene. The man has been shewn in by Turner's step-daughter, Eileen, aged 19, whom he treats as a general servant. She believe that he is her father, as her real father has been constantly away on active service so that she hardly knows him.
Turner's next caller is Dr. Blum, aged 42, a more obvious crook than Turner, who is of the ‘smooth’ type. Blum treats Eileen with insolent familiarity which she resents. Blum complains of this to Turner, reminding him that he lent him 500 dollars to have a free hand with Eileen. He demands the return of the money. Turner turns out his pockets and shows him a letter from the bank telling him that he has overdrawn his account. Blum acquiesces disgustedly and leaves.
Turner wants a drink. Every bottle is empty. He takes his watch and chain as if contemplating a visit to the pawnbroker. The bell rings again. Eileen, with shrinking disgust admits a very low, flashily-dressed woman, who is three parts drunk. She greets Turner with extravagant affection — he repulses her. She pulls a roll of bills from her stocking and waves them and says “Come to dine.” She thrusts a dollar bill at Eileen for her dinner and goes out with Turner.
Scene 3. Lord Charles Cope is in the lounge of a New York hotel drinking alone. A detective asks to see him and brings him a report of his investigation into the matter of Colonel O'Brien. The Colonel has been dead for eight years and his widow is entrapped into a marriage with a travelling quack. She was already suffering from a fatal disease (he had promised to cure her if she married him) and no doubt died shortly after. All trace is then lost. Eileen, if alive, is presumably still with her father, the quack.
Cope is not the least interested in this story. He languidly pockets the report and gets rid of the man. He seems impatient for a friend to dine with him and is then called to the telephone — his friend excuses himself. Cope is more bored and aimless than ever. He drifts into the street and after several false starts, enters a gaudy cabaret, the Valhalla.
Scene 4. The Valhalla Cabaret. Lord Chas [Cope] is still drinking cocktails. A gross / heavy man, Julius Schmidt, 50 years old, enters with great importance, at the head of a mixed party. They go to a large table reserved for them, which is close to that at which Cope is sitting. Immediately afterwards Turner comes in with his woman, and takes another table not too near.
Lord Chas. Cope wears a large ruby on his left hand. This attracts the attention of Schmidt, who goes over to him and introduced himself as a millionaire and a jewel fancier. He asks to inspect the ring, Cope consents. Schmidt then says; “If you ever want to sell, I will give you a quarter of a million dollars for it.” Cope gives a silly laugh with some disdain. He is now more than a little drunk. He tells Schmidt that he is not likely to be short of cash.
Several types of flashy people enter and greet Turner. Among them is Dr. Blum, who watches the scene between Cope and Schmidt and then goes to Turner and whispers to him stealthily pointing to Cope. Turner nods and makes an excuse to change places with his woman, so that he can watch Cope intently.
A news boy rushes in to the Cabaret, bearing a paper with huge headlines “ENGLAND DECLARES WAR ON GERMANY.” Cope snatches at the paper, devours the splash paragraphs and then throws on the floor his bottle of liquor and the drink in it, as if his latent manhood had suddenly conquered his idle silliness at the call to arms. Turner watches this and sees Cope preparing to leave the Cabaret. He makes vigorous excuses to his reluctant woman and follows Cope to his hotel.
Scene 5. The Office of the British Consul. Cope enthusiastically offers his services. The Consul points out that his defect in breathing will prevent his going on active service. Cope dejectedly goes to his hotel and goes to the bar and orders a drink.
Turner follows him all morning seeking an opportunity to accost him. He now goes to the bar and says to Cope: “Excuse me, but I am a surgeon. I notice you have a small nasal obstruction which prevents proper breathing. A very slight operation would remove it. It would give me pleasure to do it.”
Cope is delighted and asks the amount of the fee. Turner says that he is a rich man and would not think of accepting any fee, but that he is a busy man and cannot operate until 4 o'clock the next day. They exchange cards, Cope pencilling the appointment.
Turner hurries downtown to a jewel faker and says, “I must have an exact replica of the famous Cope ruby by tomorrow at 2.” The man agrees.
Scene 6. Turner's Office. The faker brings the sham ruby. At four o'clock Cope calls. Turner gives him an aneasthetic and changes the stone. He then operates on Cope's nose.
Turner has been anxious about discovery. He is afraid that his manipulation of the setting is not such as to defy detection. He thinks to hide the stone but after several attempts, he only gets more nervous. Eileen comes into the room. He gets a sudden idea. He tells her that she is looking ill and pretends to find a pimple on her shoulder, which he says is anthrax. If her life is to be saved, he must operate immediately. He gives her ether and cuts a piece of flesh from beneath her shoulder, hides the ruby and dresses the wound.
Scene 7. A Dinner Party at Turner's. Every one gets drunk. Eileen is disgusted and leaves the room. They get rowdier and Blum insists on Eileen's returning. Turner fetches her back, and Blum insults her with his coarse advances. Turner only laughs at her struggles and protests.
Scene 8. Cope is in a steamship office. It is thronged. He is trying to buy a ticket for England, and they tell him there is no room. The operation has completely cured him. He is now a firm stalwart man full of energy and vigour. He read in the paper which he has bought,
FAILURE OF LONDON AND LOANSHIRE BANK. THOUSANDS RUINED.
He staggers. He is left without a penny in the world! He quickly pulls himself together, glances at his finger and walks over to the office of Julius Schmidt to sell the ruby. Schmidt instantly detects the fraud. Cope knows at once that Turner must have done it and asks Schmidt to telephone for the police, who send a detective at once. Cope tells his story and produces Turner's card.
Scene 9. Turner's House. Eileen finally escapes from the drunken revel, the whole party being practically inescapable. She hastily packs a handbag and slips out of the house.
In the morning the revellers awake and call Eileen to prepare coffee. The house is searched — she is gone. Turner is furious.
The police enter and arrest him on suspicion of stealing the ruby which, of course, is not found.
Scene 10. Eileen applies at a shipping office for a post as stewardess, in response to an ad in the morning paper. She is accepted and goes on board. Her flight is suspicious in the eyes of the police. They track her down, arrest her, and search her — nothing is found.
Cope is turned away from every steamship office but sees in a list of sailings that a certain captain is an old acquaintance. He persuades this man to let him share his cabin. This is the liner where Eileen is working. He is strangely struck on seeing Eileen, as if she were in some way familiar, but he cannot tell why. The reason, though he knows it not, is her striking resemblance to her father Colonel O'Brien.
Scene 11. The liner strikes a mine. Cope is thrown into the sea and catches a floating grating. He sees Eileen drowning and rescues her. A boat picks them up. They go together to London.
Scene 12. A few days later, Cope and Eileen dine together in a fashionable restaurant. He has got a commission and is in uniform, while she is in that of the Red Cross. They are evidently in love and agree to marry after the war.
Scene 13. New York. Turner, during his detention, has been identified as a badly wanted man and is sentenced to a long term of imprisonment. The case is notorious and Eileen reads of it. She is overwhelmed with shame, thinking him her father and determines to break with Cope. Dr. Blum has been implicated in Turner's crimes and thinks that he had better get away. He joins the Human Lilies League of Love and goes to the front as a doctor in their ambulance.
The hospital at headquarters. Blum and other doctors operating. Blum recognises Eileen. He renews his advances, threatening, that unless she yields he will tell her father's story and make her life impossible.
In the hospital is an X-ray apparatus for locating bullets. Radiographs of the wounded are shown on the screen. Cope on his way to the front, visits the hospital and reproached Eileen for her desertion. She repulses him and goes on.
Scene 14. Cope goes over the top (need not be shewn) and receives a wound. He is picked up by the ambulance and is taken to the hospital and examined by radiograph. Eileen passes before the screen and her skeleton clearly show the hidden ruby. Blum notices this. He goes away and thinks. He jumps to the conclusion that that is where Turner had hidden the ruby.
Eileen nurses Cope and he tries to overcome her coldness but without effect.
Blum takes Eileen aside and points to the scar on her shoulder, saying, “When were you shot?” She tells the story of the anthrax which confirms him in the belief that the ruby is in her.
The Duke, hearing that his brother is wounded, determines to visit him. Blum is more determined than ever to get hold of Eileen and recover the ruby. Under Cope's ardent wooing, her resolution weakens. Blum determines to act and interrupts their interview by denouncing her as Turner's daughter. Eileen takes the loyal attitude, says that she is sure of her father's innocence, but on the face of the case must share his infamy.
At this moment the Duke is announced. He starts on being introduced to Eileen and watches her closely. Blum angrily pushes himself forward and insists on preceding with his denunciation. The Duke interferes, recognising Eileen as O'Brien's daughter. Lord Charles embraces her. Blum seems baffled for a moment and then rising to greater fury, denounces her as being herself a thief.
“The ruby is in her shoulder now.”
Bystanders gather around the disputants and the head surgeon offers to verify Blum's statement. He opens the scar and extracts the ruby, Blum is triumphant but Cope merely stretches out his hand remarking.
“My ruby, I think.”
He takes a bit of wire from his pocket, twists the stone in it and puts it one her neck.
Blum slinks away.
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