Pangenetor!

 

Grady McMurtry

 

13 December 1943

 

 

Ho! Let there be rejoicing, for I, Pan,

Am come to bid you welcome to my shrine.

Bid trumpets flourish; let my joy be thine,

For by the beard of Zeus and Neptune’s trine

I’ve waited long enough. Let him who can

 

Gainsay me. Come! the festal table creaks

With slabs of slaughtered ox and tender lamb,

While from my porcine herds we have sweet ham

To woo the taste of gluttony, and ram

Horn mugs awash with mead. Oho, who speaks?

 

Well, by my rough and hairy soul, of course!

For each fair maiden here’s a dainty paste

And aged wine to suit the fickle taste.

Fall to, m’lads, or would you have me waste

This festive hour in talking? Here’s the source

 

Of all good things of life, so take your fill.

I’ll have no pampered darlings at my feast;

You’ll drink your liquor like a man, at least,

And eat your share of roasted beef, that beast

Of succulent refreshment. Now my will

 

In playing host to such a famished lot

As you’ve turned out to be this russet day

Is work. Aye, work, m’lads, the work of play!

And such sweet work indeed I wot you’ll say

When you have found my pleasure. Like as not

 

You’ll scamper off like rabbits to the fields

When I have made my meaning to appear,

But first a word. Now gather round me near;

Move! The lads sit there, the fairest damsels here.

Oho! I jest. But Pan must joke; it shields

 

A tender heart. I love you all in sooth

For are you not my children? I would make

No difference between you for ‘twould take

The joy of living from your eyes, and shake

Your faith in me, your parent. Now the truth

 

In this, my idle jesting, is that you

Have come to manhood, and must therefor know

What ordeals lie ahead. This being so,

I’ve called you hither that I ‘least might show

You guidance in this matter. Words are few

 

And ill express our subtle thoughts, so I

Must perforce speak to you as mind to mind.

Yet hold! I know your thought. I’m not as blind

As some would have you think me. Nor as kind

As others say. Why should I be? Why lie

 

About your attributions? Yet this thought

Of yours must have its answer. In the years

Gone by I’ve watched you grow, I’ve watched your fears,

Your little gods and devils, and your tears

Of childish hurt; yet slowly I have wrought

 

That which is best in you to finer gold.

Now heed. This mystery of mine is Truth!

No more. There is the serpent, and the tooth.

And though my shaggy thighs may seem uncouth

To those who know me not, I have been told

 

They serve their purpose well–and, aye, they do!

But that is idle chatter. Now you ask,

“If this is Truth then why this idle mask?”

“If we have passed the ordeals, why the task?”

And I will give you answer. This is you.

 

Your life, your love, your will, your fate; not mine.

Though you be part of me you are alone

And individual. Your flesh and bone

Are fashoned from the earth. These facts are known

So let it be. Curse not those gods of thine

 

Cast in your imagery, nor veil the shrine

Of your incarnate bodies. They are pure.

Keep them so. Exercise is good. Endure

The discipline of hardship. Thus insure

Complete control of action. By this sign

 

You’ll know you’re fit for living, not before.

As for your birthdate; at the Equinox

Of Gods the word that mystically unlocks

My donjon keep is given. By the hooks

Of Chiron’s horny hooves you will adore

 

Our Lady, Queen of Space, or you will fail

In this your chosen mission. This is so

Because the Aeon now at hand must show

The universe you live in. And the slow

Evolving of your concepts winds its tail

 

In ever uprward spirals; so your soul,

Now clothed as you are, now in deep repose,

Has slowly come to understand the Rose,

The Cross, the Lux, the Tree that grows

Around the world. The task was hard. The toil

 

Was terrible, but just. For only thus

Could I be certain you were forged to last

Through toil and inquisitions’ flaming mast.

The dark age of the Slain God has been passed;

Aye, it has slowly passed. But now, the puss

 

Of ulsers slow to heal, it lingers still.

Many’s the night I’ve walked the Wilderness

With stars for company. And ‘neath the press

Of the eternal trees have made address

Unto myself and questioned whether Will,

 

Or Love, or Hate, or blind and callous Fate

Could sanction your imprisonment. You found

No respite in revolting. You were ground

On racks blood stained by the sadist Hound

Of your created Hell, and found the gate

 

Of Heaven locked against you. Nor could Death

Reprive you from the sufferings, for I,

Yea, even I, had so decreed. Your cry

Was mine own aching heart, yet the reply

Came ever back the same: they have the breath

 

Of Life, so they must die, and live and die

And live until they come to know their place.

These are not empty clods, they are a race

Ordained for destiny. Though I could trace

Intelligence in any form, yet I

 

Have found you best adapted to my plan.

‘Tis true upon the Earth you’re not unique,

Yet also true that you must ever seek

The far beyond. And ’tis this perverse streak

Of yours that so intrigues Old Father Pan!

 

But now a pox on such philosophy.

My melancholia would go too deep

Should I recount your tails of woe, and keep

Us from our pleasant task. The dreadful sleep

Of that long night wherein iniquity

 

Against the self held reign has been replaced!

Arise my children and awake, nor fear;

The Aeon of the Crowned Child is here.

“Do what thou wilt shall be the Law.” How clear

Did Rabelais foresee, but now make haste!

 

Too long I’ve kept you waiting with my talk

Of death and sacrifice; those words are ill.

You have no right to do aught but your Will!

Do that and nothing more and you will till

The fertile fields of ecstasy. I’ll walk

 

A way along the brook with you. ‘Tis naught;

I’m stiff from sitting still so long is all.

And at my age no wonder. Aye, ’tis Fall

Again. The leaves are touched with gold, the pall

Of snow filled clouds is yet to come, though frought

 

With Winter’s chill the bracing air is sharp,

But not too sharp, just right I always say.

The Summer’s time for work, the Fall for play!

And with my vats near bursting with the spray

Of my beloved vine we’ll take the harp

 

Of the Aeolian winds; I’ll play the pipe

And you can dance! Now off with you. Begone!

Across the fields and greensward of the lawn,

Before I should forget myself and yawn

When there is someone looking. Aye, the ripe

 

Fruit has been gathered in, the fields are brown,

The lovely grape is pressed, and I can scratch

Myself in comfort, now that they’re gone. Catch

As catch can, down the hill, match and rematch

When they spill. Not a worry, care or frown

 

This pleasant day. Tomorrow? Who can tell?

Not I at least. Oh, I suppose I could,

But not today; there’s Wine to-hand! Aye, good

Red wholesome wine, I wot. Wine of the Wood.

Wine of the World! I’ll help myself. And well

 

I may. ‘Tis mine indeed. Ah, here’s to health—

And may it bless them in their way.

And here’s to life–and here’s to love–and may

The light of liberty be theirs, I say.

And here’s to Pan–for this, indeed is wealth!

 

 

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