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Correspondence from Phyllis Seckler to Karl Germer
R.F.D.1. C/o Sihvonen Barstow, California
August 27, 1953
Dear Karl
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Thanks for your letter of the 7th. No, it's not that I mind being corrected if it is objective—detached form other types of observation. It is true, I am perhaps abnormally sensitive to criticism—I've had it ruin my artistic output for long stretches of time. I know all this, know its sources, but I have not been able to develop a thick skin towards it yet.
Today I am wondering about the burden Jane [Jane Wolfe] is struggling under—am worried to, to tell the truth. You know, of course, that her income is tiny—pension—and yet she sends her monthly contribution. Maybe she wants to—and might be offended at this presumption on my part—indeed I am presumptuous! But she is nearing quite an old age—and is spry and bright—but somehow I feel she needs a lot of consideration. I really am stepping over my bounds! I hope all and sundry will not think too harshly of me! Not only does this sum go out from her for H.Q., but Mary K. is not as spry—needs a lot of attention—drains Jane's energy until I become alarmed! Needlessly? No! I don't think so!
But there it is—and I feel, that if possible, there ought to be help somewhere, somehow, for this situation, even if we can only lighten the burden here and there?
Now then—that subject is extremely delicate—and having unburdened myself, I turn to another matter.
You mention: "The enemy is waiting at the gate to disrupt it." (as you refer to M.W.T. [Magick Without Tears].)
What enemy?
I am perhaps singularly short-sighted to make this statement but I firmly believe there is no enemy unless we let him exist. In other words, the enemy would be ourselves! Are we not strong enough magically, to keep all such ideas at bay?
And now to explain this position I am going to quote from my diary.
Sun. Dec. 21 1952
Strange—vision? No! Experience.
Was reading Jung's commentary on Secret of Golden Flower. As I turned out the light and settled down to sleep I was suddenly in the center of things—and that center was an unmanifest Nothing. It was the true me, but it was nothing.
It was as though I were in the center of a ball filled with air or nothing visible, and all events appeared on the outer shell, connected by a network of red lines, like a cell structure, I imagine.
This experience made me laugh. One lives in the outer shell so much, and becomes involved, and thought processes tell us it is reality, but it isn't not at all!
The real reality is Nothing! Hence the joke!
Also, when one is the center, the Nothing that allows the outside shell of events to happen, one tremendous power over them. I had the feeling I could choose to experience any event, or not, as I liked. I could make anything happen.
This is because one event is as good as another and just as unreal.
The Nothing is the "diamond body" or the non-striving of Tao. And what a joke the whole experience was!
It was as though life as I know it had gotten turned exactly inside out and was the exact reverse of conscious thinking processes. Why, the thoughts themselves are the unreality!
I could go on and quote several lines here and there to see if this experience has any verification elsewhere. I think if does!
Crowley puts it in the Mass [Gnostic Mass]:
"Thou that art I, beyond all I am Who hath no nature and no name" Etc.
You know as well as I do—
Also, Liber AL, II vs. 12, 13. "Because of me in Thee which thou knewest not." (Notice the not! nothing?) for why? Because thou was the knower, and me.
A direct statement that Hadit was in Crowley—"the core of every star" Also is nothing or not—as in verse 15.
But then the shrine is to be veiled in verse 14. Is the truth too strong to bear? It would seem to me that the verses, my experience, probably other sources, would point to the fact that we are each one of us responsible for our own environment and that throwing the blame for not getting a piece of work done on "magical attacks" or "forces of disruption" or, or, etc. might be terribly dangerous thinking.
It is quite another thing if one knows that the particular work is not done now, because the Angel orders it.
It is not that I think you do this type of thinking, (or do I?) but I have seen others around me indulge in it when it was plainly weakness, mere speculation on their part, had no references to the K. and C. [Knowledge and Conversation] of the H.G.A. [Holy Guardian Angel]. but was an excuse to excuse their own mistakes, or laziness!
So, though you (and Crowley) have a high degree of initiation, and could perhaps tell me these forces exist, and that I am too inexperienced to know, etc., etc., still, these remarks about "disruptive forces", "the enemy", "the gods" are sometimes dangerous to the weaker ones of the Order. I think a lot of them need a little stiffening of the spine by an attitude which says, "What's the matter with you?" All that is, that exists for you, was made by you!" Are we not our own enemies? Or otherwise?
By now you probably want to throw me out the door! O.K., I'll go, but I'll waft you an impertinent kiss, dear brother, to show I mean no harm!
Have you asked yourself lately what your own enemy is doing? We all have them, usually conveniently out of sight in the unconscious,
With this parting shot you'll want to kick me out of the Order!
Who does she think she is?
Nothing! Nothing at all!
Love is the law, love under will.
Love,
Phyllis
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