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Correspondence from Jean Sihvonen to Grady McMurtry
Barstow, California
21 Jan 1959
Dear Grady:
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
Sorry it has taken so long to answer your interesting letter, but you know how it is. Time goes by so fast I don't have time to do half what I want to do.
I was not surprised to hear about your experience with Karl [Karl Germer]. I have experienced his changeability on more than one occasion. It is my opinion and Aleister's [Aleister Ataturk], that Sascha [Sascha Germer] is still the cause of most of this changeableness, but you are right, he should not let her influence him the way she does. That is a weakness on his part. He is always warning other men about the women they are with and accusing them of having vampires, Kundries, etc., but he never stops to think that he may have the prize Kundry of all.
Yes, Ero [Ero Schivonen] no doubt runs to Karl with every bit of information he can get. Aleister and I were not very cordial the last time he was up here, which was approximately three months ago, so he will not be coming again, I don't believe. Reea [Reea Leffingwell], too, has been writing to Karl and I told her I didn't want her to tell him anything about us. She is somewhat of a fence sitter. One day she criticizes him, the next she says he is still the Head of the Order and we must not go against him. So?
The way Karl acts and setup at their place is absolutely against all Thelemic principles. They could have let you stay over night because Ero stays there for a week at a time.
By the way, Reea mentioned that in Karl's latest letter, he warned her to "stay away from Thelema. Don't get involved." In other words, not to start anything or try to promulgate it. This was sent to her after you had visited him.
Re Mellinger [Frederic Mellinger]—I don't believe any such thing as his being an FBI agent. We were also accused of the same thing by Sascha. In fact, she ended up accusing some of her oldest and dearest friends. She needs a psychiatrist. Her experience in Europe has given her a persecution complex and because of this she is dangerous.
Mellinger came from Germany and lived there while we were still at the house. He was most enthusiastic and eager to work with Karl. Sascha caused the split between them and they almost had a fist fight. Any time Karl has been interested in anyone, be it man, woman, or boy, as in the case of Aleister, Sascha broke it up.
If Ero has such pure aspiration how come he is falling apart physically and mentally? As above, so below. As within, so without. No one will sell me the bill of goods that being ill, etc., means spiritual attainment. True, many are tested in this fashion, but Ero's seems to be different. A.C. mentioned someplace that the way a person is within, will express itself without. If orderly in one's mind, one will be orderly on the material plane.
I do not intend to write Karl about anything you have said. There is no reasoning with him - so what is the use writing? His mention about no morality, honor, etc., in America, amuses me. I never saw anyone so lacking in all those traits. He has been the supreme example of the double-crosser. Of course he would always justify his actions and comments as being for the Great Work. But many atrocities, deceits, etc., have been pulled off in the name of spiritual growth and religion.
Karl's reference to me throwing him out with no notice is somewhat ridiculous. I knew he was trying to separate Ero and me and Marcello [Marcelo Motta] was helping him. I was very ill—so much so that my bosses at work were concerned about me. I asked Karl to take Motta and stay with Meeka [Meeka Aldrich] or at her place in Hollywood for about a month so I could pull myself together. I could not tolerate Motta. He was a snake of the lowest I have seen. Regarding Karl's making flower beds—he suggested burying the garbage as it would make nice flower beds. We did not have to bury it as I had a garbage disposal! He did not plant anything—not even a blade of grass. The men did get their breakfast, and lunch and make their beds—but they cleaned nothing. I came home, after working 8 hours, and got dinner for all of them. If it had not been for Aleister, I would have had to haul all the groceries home alone and clean house alone. Motta never paid one penny all the time he was there, and Karl very little.
Your comments about the loan, interest, selling the books at reduced prices, etc., are interesting. Also your intriguing against him is part of the pattern. I have heard it so many times, it's old stuff.
If and when you do write to Karl stating your intentions and he blows his top, I do believe that the Burlingame's will be with you 100%; they are not so easily downed. He has pulled several fast ones on them, too.
Regarding evidence that Karl is the Head of the Order. I have seen nothing to that effect, nor has Aleister. However, would he have received the books, etc., after A.C.'s death if he had not had something?
I have deposited both your contributions and we have put in a like amount. The Burlingame's [Ray and Mildred] have not contributed as yet because they have been under heavy expenditure with their move, etc. Aleister is working now, so we can get the fund together faster, I hope.
Regarding a travel fund—I am sorry to say that you cannot depend on it from us. We are loaded with demands for money. I now have 5 acres of land and am drilling a well for water, need electricity and want to build—so every penny I have is going in that direction. It is the most beautiful spot on the desert and I hope will be a place where Thelemites can meet. Perhaps if we have a dwelling by the time we have our meeting, we can have it here. At any rate, we will have a building where you can store your books if and when the need arises.
This must be all. Needless to say, you have my backing and cooperation and also Aleister's. Whatever the blast, we will take it with you. More power to you!
Love is the law, love under will.
Jean
Aleister Ataturk
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