Mary Butts Diary Entry

Thursday, 18 August 1921

IX. On the question of Abbey [Abbey of Thelema] discipline. People will have to be left alone to their own expenditure, and their good-will limited to share with poorer members.

Roughly the rule should be—that as long as the work is done, people should be left alone.

This leads one on to the question of the Abbey's fundamental attitudes—Can they be modified? They seem to rest on—a sexual preoccupation—of bacchanalia, but very limited order. This does not go beyond exercising of physical gratification, but then it beats the big drum and blows the penny whistle till if bursts—I believe the Beast to be a technical expert of the highest order.

Again—a satiety of this sort has bred contempt. These people equally with a savage-ascetic community are '[illegible] of the role'—(Why always the cross?)

This works in very samely and well with a desire to rid man of his complexes that inhibit his freedom. His 'attachments' mask a fear a situation he has not faced—tear off his attachment, shew him his terror—Well and good, excellent, go ahead, and all that. But I repeat—excellence will remain excellence, beauty and truth as much to be sought as ever. What is the good  of making a man sensible—say about coprophilia—if he proceeds to consider Tristan and Iseult as a branch of that perversion's technique.

The Beast says 'I want to make you all equally indifferent to everything—that you' do not regard one thing more than another? TO WHAT END? if all things are equal.

Well and good, make all phenomena equal—but is it to be done by reducing everything to the vulgarest, least attractive, worst coarse and banal terms—I agree that everything should be scrutinised down to the minutest detail under those terms, but left under those terms.

It will have a reaction on these children. I admit no form of copulation will come as a shock—excellent—but they will have heard of it under terms of denigration that parallel the statements of celibates in the most ferocious cloister. This attitude extends, the mothers here may not have their children openly for fear of making a [illegible] liar.

Why is there no attempt to balance—tell them about coprophilia—tell them about Abe'lard and Heloise, let them leave 'the world, for a while' and [Greek]. Lest the cross is easily climbed, and the rose takes some wearing.

I see what it may make of the two boys—Hansi will turn into a ferocious young phallos, the pity and despair of sensitive women, and the misery of some, and Howie [Howard Shumway] may be sickened, and turn ascetic, on to some super-perversity, or simply be afraid, and cruel because he's afraid. But children are pretty tough, I need not paint it so blackly.

I know how hard it is to wear the rose—This is to note that for the last three weeks Cecil [Cecil Maitland] and I have worn it, in our hearts, and flaunted before the Abbey—We have been such lovers. I have watched the cup fill, and wondered if it could have held another drop of our glory, and it rose and trembled, and seems as if it would never fill.

There will be a reaction, but it will pass—we are two blessed spirits, torn between the excrement the Beast still [illegible] and loathes.

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