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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Rex de Arte Regia Tuesday, 5 January 1915
Opus[1] XXI
8.50 p.m. Glimmering light. Weather warm and rather damp though fine.
[Assistant] As VIII [Grace Harris].
Object: As, XIX, which has evidently done no good. (P.S. Well, not so bad!)
The Operation was perfect physically and mentally. But it lacks that mutual attraction which makes Energized Enthusiasm possible. There is no danger of being carried away. I am left in an extraordinary state of exasperation even with the IX° itself! Women in America seem purely animal. They 'come like water and like wind they go'. Not one of these Operations in this country has had the flavour that one gets all the time in Europe. I feel inclined to throw the whole thing down and stick to Babalon until I succeed in incarnating Her. And I wish the O.H.O. [Outer Head of Order] [Theodor Reuss] were here to read and comment on this record. However, this is a weakness. But I will do a Geomancy: 'Wherein lies my failure to accomplish the IX° O.T.O. satisfactorily, and how shall I improve my working?' The answer is roughly this: that I lack friends and money, and the consequent élan.
One should do oneself well, etc., in fact 'To him that hath it shall be given'. Well, I admit I'm tired of going about New York with less than a pound in my pocket—usually less than a dollar!—and when my money comes I've no doubt the IX° will be better. So far, though I have written 'success', I have not had that indubitable and striking success that I call worthy of this Royal Sacerdotal Art.
Result: 8 Jan. [There are] some signs of this working.
1—[Crowley performs a magical sexual operation.]
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