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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Friday, 13 August 1920
I slept from 7.00 p.m. of Thursday to 3.30 a.m. when I woke and had lots of milk and biscuits. This morning I am very tired muscularly with the 'having-been-beaten' feeling; my eyes are somewhat heavy. I am sexually excitable and very strong. I have too the feeling that I ought to 'sleep it off' some more, but no real need to do so. I could not finish the actual experiment; it seemed to me perfectly absurd to go on taking cocaine, that no effect would come of it but to prolong boredom and weariness and to postpone recovery.
11.05 a.m. In a situation similar but with a Fortune less favourable was once a Young Fellow of Clare . . .
Opus[1] X, 31-666-31 [Leah Hirsig]. Operation: admirable; entirely spontaneous, perfectly normal in all ways. Elixir: excellent, copious, rich, strong. Object: invocation of 93 for Alostrael [Leah Hirsig]; to know Him better.
3.40 p.m. I think cocaine (in unveiling the Race-Impulse perhaps) has a definite tendency to release the film 'Sadism'. I have had lots of phantasies and wish-images of this type; so has Leah. She flamed up into mania yesterday about a dark curly-haired girl at the level crossing below the cemetery, who reminds her (I suspect) of her old rival Helen Hollis.
It is curious that
Jane's [Jane Wolfe] communications, some of them, were signed with a
sigil which she took for 'Sun and Moon'—a circle with a
crescent attached. But this sigil may be in reality nothing
but a circumcised penis, foreshortened thus:
1—[Crowley conducts a magical sexual operation.]
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However, curiously enough, this sigil has come up again
twice. Yesterday, I looked up 'The Woman of Whoredom' for
Leah's Cabbalistic problems and found it to be 864, which is
also 'Shewstone-Levanah', Sun and Moon! Then this morning I
bit Leah's back twice for good measure, and it branded her
with just this sigil! I note that the tongue, mouth and
throat soreness observed with previous cocaine experiments
has not occurred at all this time, either to Leah or myself.