Aleister Crowley Diary Entry

Tuesday, 27 March 1923

 

 

Repeat, in the Prayer of Silence state (a) before going to sleep (b) when mentally or physically disturbed.

 

I am a living man,

And not a dead machine;

With perfect ease I can

Dispense with Magdalene.

My spirit will be free

Against whatever odds:

There is no part of me

That is not of the Gods.

 

12.51 Temp 100°4!!! First time over 100° for a week or more. 4 Q.

     

2.15 Woke again in a very heavy sweat. 1 [dose] [Heroin] 2Q 2AS. Rubbed: dry clothes etc: feel very comfortable now. Temp 100°7. (1) 2 1/4 A.M.

     

5.30 Woke with mild sweat: mouth very sore. No doubt that this is Malta fever remains. The insensibility to Quinine, the behaviour of the thermometer and the sweats, the pharyngeal complication etc. all point to the same thing. Temp 100°2.

     

9.35 Temp 99°6. Woke at 9 with a stomach full of bile, (2) which made me vomit copiously. [Heroin]. Lazy, dictating till 10.15 2 A.S. Lazier, dozing, till 11.35. Feel rotten: depressed at prospect of this fever going on for ever, and then (3) leaving me as weak as 1, 2, or more rats [?] ? time [Heroin]. Temp 99°0.

     

(4) 12.20 Got up and out.

     

1.0 Broth, toast, 1 egg, milk, [Heroin].

     

3.5 Back from short walk. Temp 98°7.

     

4.15 Tired: to bed after tea and biscuits at 3.30.

     

Feel need [Heroin] (5) 4.25 [Heroin] 5.50. Temp 99.2. Sort of half sweating. (6) 6.40 [Heroin] (utterly bored and depressed) Enema—little effect but all well.

     

7.30 Temp 99.2 2 A.S.

     

8.10 Curried buggered eggs and rice (7): toast: milk. [Heroin] (See 8 yesterday) Will try to sick to L[uminal] for the rest of the day.

     

8.55 Very sleepy, or rather drowsy, with some tendency to chill and sweat at the same time.

     

9.40 Temp 99.4.

 

 

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