Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Saturday, 28 July 1923
Die Saturn
2.20 p.m. Slept like a top: woke at 9 as ordered, but was sleepy still, & dozed off again during the morning. The Urn was corrected, however, before tiffin.
Note: I wake every morning with what I can only call the fear of death on me. This is evidently absurd: it must be a symptom either of some morbid nervous condition (possibly due to [Heroin] or of my rapidly improving physical health. It is an idea quite detached from my general state of mind, & resists all analysis. It may be some purely animal gesture, indicating the complete independence (purification) of my Nephesch. It has continued almost daily for some months: in vain I try to conquer it by various means: it simply disappears (as causelessly as it comes) when I start work.
2.31 p.m. [Question] What line shall I take
with my Russian friend? use to
[Earth/Kteis]
[I Ching Hexagram] 23! Same as the Hamman-Lif symbol! [See Thursday, 26 July 1923]. The main point is evidently to use such people to support my Work (as a couch), to prepare my Way (as a Pylon), & on my part to lead them into favour & success.
3 p.m.
Yesterday I worked out The Mark of the Beast for regular wear.
The Name ציוז [OIVZ][1] indicates the Three Grades
But
צ
is reserved for 666 =
[Added later:] It should be ט = The Beast & Babalon [Atu] XI.
Then XI+ VI+ V +IX = XXXI.
There is a connection to make somehow
My symbol will be a Black Diamond
or Pearl 1 (diameter) in centre of a golden plate, 6
engraved
This is engraved זויצ & Aiwass.
It has just occurred to me to use this idea of the Jewel of the Order as a test of Frater O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] to use my credit (as I have always done) to run up a big bill with a jeweller & spring it on him. The utter uselessness of the extravagance completely exonerates me from my selfish luxury; also that the bill would include a number of decorations for other people. And the test would have all the quality of surprise, as I have calculated coppers continually since O.P.V. came to me, & he knows my conscientous reluctance to spend money, even small change, on luxuries, even those which the Working Man call necessary comforts.
I cannot decide upon the size of the bill: I should want it big enough to stagger, but not too big to unseat, my Charioteer (Perhaps he is really Krishna! ‘The Gods come ofttimes thus!’) In that case, this Arjuna will drive furiously ahead on long-armed Bhishma & sheep-skulled Mussolini & that crowd!) The point is provided against! I am not to talk business! I just order what I want, without haggling. Really, the Gods are the most ingenious persons! And once I get into their little ways, won’t I make this race hop?
‘Why hop ye, O ye little hills? ‘Ye little hills, why hop? O sure it is because he’s here, His Grace the Lord Bishop!’
Well, that settles it. I go ahead. Anything I want I bloody well take: & O.P.V. makes good.
I don’t think he needs any such test as this: but ‘there’s a further secret’. He had better have an example of the apparently crazy way in which I can act-& do whenever I reach intimate contact with Them whose Ways are not as man’s Ways!
Fiat! I complete my designs & put them in the hands of Bohmer & Bossage on Monday morning!
(P.S. I postponed this, on account of some remarks he made next day.)
3.45 p.m. I ask for a message about Jewish wife—profoundly agitated
Magically about the question—& I get CCXX, II, 52!!! actual words ‘lying spectre’) Can take this either way. Obvious is one: try it out: ‘Success is your proof’. I’ll ask Yi: ‘Shall I seek a rich wife in Tunisia?’ (Jewish or not.)
Earth/Moon Mang [Hexagram] IV
Hell! I can’t interpret things like this!
P.S. An: XIX, Sol in 20 degree Leo; Luna in 6 degree Scorpio (Aug. 17).
I ask Frater 0 P.V. to give me his views on these divinations.
1. The 93 Oracle. Initiation should be conferred upon some ‘modest woman’. Make a precedent (Summa) of this: how Faithful should deal with such matters during the Aeon.
2. ‘No’: but be alert for advances from some woman. (Judgment modified on discussion.) Steps should be taken to discover a suitable person. See Line 1.)
1—OIVZ was Crowley’s Chaldaean version of AIWAZ, his Holy Guardian Angel. The letters of O(70) I(10) V(6) Z(7) add to 93. 2—The three flag/axe symbols are the Egyptian hieroglyphs for neteru or gods.
|