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Aleister Crowley Diary Entry Thursday, 3 April 1924
die Jupiter.
12.0 Hail unto Kheph Ra!
1.0 A.M. Woke suddenly with some cough and alarm (both exaggerated by the famous movie star Miss Crowley!) from a state of distinct H[eroin]-hunger in which I worried "Have I slept or no?". Biggish earth-aq. [Heroin] not essential. But I want to know if I can get a solid spell of say 6 hrs. sleep thereby.
1.30 A.M. Sleep driven away. Inspired to help Arturo Sabatini in Tunis. Perfectly at ease, and strongly tempted to repeat dose in order to get some Work done. ("Puritan" complex, my most dangerous foe!)
1.35 I said "Thelema needs a Paul". Is O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] the "answer to prayer"? The Gods help Man! But he has known the Master and I "know and destroy the traitors". I will purge him of the ghoulish spirit of gloating on "dire agony", the fanatical intemperance which makes him blaspheme me in the most infamous ravings against my sense of Justice and Kindness.
2.0. Will try once more to sleep.
[two letters appear sandwiched in between the diary at this point:]
[The diary then continues]
3.25 No sleep. Clearly: The third night of return to H[eroin]—the function is already seriously attacked. I take a dose as "hypnotic"—alleged by pig-headed quacks—to complete observation of the 4 nights—despite foreseen discomfort. earth-aq.
8.30 Woke (probably slept about 4.15)
11.45 Slept after breakfast 9 to 11.30 more or less. Fairly refreshed.
2.0. Lunch. Dozed since 12 or so most of the time.
4.0; Tea. Dozed again after lunch till nearly 3.40.
Briefly, the use of H. guarantees sleepless nights and days of somnolence: i.e. in my present state of nervous exhaustion. There is no reserve of strength for a tonic to take hold of. A long rest in the country is the absolute need.
7.5 P.M. I have certainly broken down badly to-day: am repeating the "Third Night", but will use Belladonna; and Gardenal,[1] if sleepless. It is (I think) the lack of news, most of all, that has overcome temporarily my spirit. I feel myself sinking slowly, and dragging down my luckless crew in the whirlpool! Last night, in a state between sleep and waking, I composed a short fragment of a very noble poem. I got stuck, began a new stanza, and found the former passage quite blocked out of my mind, This silly calamity has preyed upon my spirit ever since. I am also depressed by the knowledge of my dilemma about H. The resultant has been to drain me of all moral energy, I have no initiative, no hope to make patience pleasant, and so no courage to resist any impression, which accordingly produces moral, and so physical collapse. I have used minimum H[eroin]-protection in sheer mechanical automatism, to enable me to wait without bringing on a serious crisis which would upset Alostrael [Leah Hirsig] and injure such prospects of rescue as exist by impatience. Several times already in these last three months I have been reduced to this state; delay thus gained, some new current has reached me and whirled me into waters of less deadly stagnation—even though nearer to the brink of the cataract, I cannot but rejoice. I observe, in all this period, that all the time the Living Fire in which I am being bathed is purging my spirit of all its grosser elements. Holiness clothes me with its film of lucid light. The Book of the Law, in particular, shines with most spiritual splendour; all coarse interpretation has become impossible. True, on the planes of false phenomena, its words must keep their worth; but I shall never again fail to perceive the true value of material affairs. The spiritual and moral meaning will prevent base and crude readings of the text such as have so surely misled O.P.V.; and have in the past made me hostile to the Book itself by asserting a seeming incompatibility with my True Will. Of course, the Book does foretell disaster to the old world; but we must see this in perspective as we now see the Fall of Rome or the Operation of the Seasons. The Book does not purport to alter the laws of Nature; it simply sets forth the new Formula by virtue of which Mankind may use those Laws to the best advantage.
(The "Spanish Influenza" at the end of the war '14-18 e.v. corrected the error of the Martial method by wiping out many of the weaklings, saved until then by their very worthlessness, who would otherwise have hung around the neck of humanity like a sack of excrement, and made the work of reconstruction even more arduous than it now is. Prosperity is the name we give to the condition resulting from the surplus of Energy in any community. The present universal economic surplus is Nature's second campaign to redress the balance; and we are doing our stupidest by trying to divert the aim of necessity by legislation, doles, relief funds etc on artificial principles of policy, patriotism, humanitarianism and the like. The nation that has recovered most quickly from War and Famine is Russia! Isolated, attacked, anarchic, the weak elements have been eliminated, save as the Soviets have insanely interfered. Probably a new revolution, specializing in Pogroms, will complete Nature's wise work, so that in five years' time there will be a Russia ruled by Russians on Russian principles, with plenty of room for all, and the only weaklings that survive those who have been kept alive by the individual "love under will", instead of by the hap-hazard or unnatural methods of State Charity, or doctrinaire devices. The recovery of France from the rot of Bourbonism (1789 till now) illustrates this principle. She underwent every variety of strain; each new 'saviour' failed in the end, and ruined her; but on each such occasion Nature came to the rescue with a clean-up, so that she was strong enough in the end to recover superbly from 1870 and to endure 1914, despite the hopeless corruption of her conscious guidance—from Napoleon le Petit to Caillaux (with Panania, Dreyfus etc) et Cie.
Ra Hoor Khuit is Force and Fire—the impersonal impulse of Solar Energy which will purge the world of its dead winter leaves and vitalize the seeds of Spring.)
Love is the law, love under will.
[Here starts a new notebook]
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. The Book of The Magical Record of ΤΟ ΜΕΓΑ ΘΗΡΙΟΝ The Beast 666 ΛΟΓΟC ΑΙΩΝΟC Θελγμχ 93 begun Sol in 14° Aries An XX Luna in 8° deg. Aries at 8.15 P.M. die Jupiter 3. 4. 24 e.v at 50 rue Vavin Paris Vie
8.40 P.M. die Jupiter. 3. 4. 24 e.v.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
So! and the circumstances of the moment make no difference to the fact. Recall the passage in Chwang Tze about the troubles of Confucius: they have no bearing on the principles of Good Manners.
8.55 Outline the proper policy to adopt in practical matters in the present situation. [I Ching Hexagram] X Li P/Fire.
[The diary continues in the handwriting of Leah Hirsig]
Thwan: Be fearless. Go forward against the enemy.
Line 1. Continue as at present but find something active to do. [Line] 2. Move calmly. [Line] 3. Avoid over-confidence or bluff. [Line] 4. Having taken action become cautious to prevent bad results [Line] 5. Having got going be resolute. Do not shut the eyes to danger. [Line] 6. Meditate on the whole course of events over a long period and abstract thence an omen. If this meditation be perfect there should be an indication of the line in which to expect great good fortune.
666—The hexagram represents the Spirit "brooding and breeding" on the waters. That is, our policy should be to consider matters carefully as in Line 6 and then impregnate them by creative will. Look into the Well of Hexagram XLVIII (vide supra: our General Policy Omen, taken last night.) [Note in Crowley's hand] for the truth in the bottom. Behold Her face and bring Her forth. The proper policy should not be rational but a matter of creative imagination and will.
[The diary returns to the handwriting of Crowley]
9.30 I ask for an Oracle of Thelema to guide and enlighten the Sammasati meditation proposed. AL III 22 "I am the visible object of worship". The obvious meaning is that as "the others (Nuit and Hadit) are secret" the error has been in putting forward the metaphysical aspect of the Law—perhaps even Thelema itself. The proper policy is thus to proclaim Ra Hoor Khuit, the Crowned and Conquering Child. There should be a doctrine wherein the other Gods have their part: "let all be worshipped, for they shall cluster to exalt me." By "the other Gods" we do not mean those false formulae, as per vv. 49-55; but those elemental principles of Nature which compose the "Unity uttermost showed" of Ra Hoor Khuit. Thus "Force and Fire", Innocence, Trust, Fearlessness, Free Growth, Self-Centered Conception of Nature, and similar Child-qualities, should be advocated (worshipped=held worthy). Thus we may "set up my image in the East", as it becomes clear that these factors may be summed in a single Eidolon.
(I do not understand "thou shalt buy thee" etc in v. 21 on this interpretation. But we have "And it shall be suddenly easy for thee to do this". Whatever it is that must be done, it is clear that an opportunity will arise without warning, and must be interpreted and seized firmly. This should evidently be the opening of a Door leading to all sorts of possibilities).
9.50 The Thwan of Li (X) suggests very strongly to me that Frater O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] ought to make it his first business to make good his published promise to vindicate A.C. "One treading on the tail of a tiger, which does not bite him". His course should be to call on the Sunday Express and put it straight to their good faith to repair of their own free will the harm they have done. This is the morally noble, and the Thelemic method of conquering them. I on my side would be ready to admit the indiscretions (due to my anxiety not to play the hypocrite) which have misled people as to my true purpose and character. This policy is admirably good Magick; and it is the truest courage. It would put fear in to their bad side, whereas legal attack would make them defiant; and we already know that they refused to assail me further (Oxford "man" 's offer to go to Cefalu to spy on me). I have suggested this step to O.P.V. before; and it is in full harmony with my original letter to Lord Beaverbrook.
10.0. To worship Hadit, for the purpose of the above meditation, I deliberately took a rather large dose of aq. [Heroin]; and I claim His promise "they shall not harm ye at all". Not "too eagerly to catch the promises", but without fear, and in full faith. I shall now ask Alostrael to enquire of the Yi: Give a General Symbol of the policy formulated in the mind of 666 as a result of His meditation upon the matter, as instructed by [I Ching Hexagram] Li (X). Earth/P. Ta Khu XXVI "The Great Accumulation"
[The diary continues in the handwriting of Leah Hirsig]
666. The material garment of the creative impulse. The Thwan. Take public action without seeking personal advantage. Take an irrevocable step.
Line 1. The position is perilous. Advance on present lines is impossible. [Line] 2. That course is to be checked and the inhibition to our right action removed. [Line] 3. Take the step proposed. Be prepared with the aid of really worthy friends (possibly Shirley[Ralph Shirley], Everard Feilding, Fuller [J.F.C. Fuller], Radclyffe [Raymond Radclyffe]. One or more might accompany OPV).
[Side note by Crowley in his handwriting: Urging his way with the help of strong horses].
Prepare plans carefully, analyzing the difficulties of the position. Do not waver. Rehearse the plan daily. [Line] 4. Do not let your enthusiasm or indignation carry you away (this is for O.P.V.) Make it clear that you are not dangerous (the young bull with the piece of wood over his horns.) [Line] 5. Manifest your sincerity on the strength of your position but make it clear that you are entirely free from malice and uncontrolled impulse. ("the teeth of a castrated hog") [Line] 6. The result will be that we are "in command of the firmament of heaven". We shall be able to direct the course of the stars, and find ourselves in possession of ample means for carrying out further plans. Note—This hexagram is the confirmation of the result of my meditation commanded me by Hexagram X which in its turn indicates the material interpretation of the steps advised by Hexagram XLVIII which has dictated our spiritual attitude in general. Line 1 of that Hexagram shows "a well so muddy that men will not drink of it". My use to mankind polluted by the mud has been thrown at me. Line 2 shows my truth, energy and virtue wasted on vermin and leaking away from my damaged resources. ("The broken basket".) The operation of Hexagram X refers to line 3 of Hexagram XLVIII. (Note that an appeal must be made to the intelligence of the other party. A new Hexagram will be required to indicate the proper procedure for bringing into action lines 4-6 of Hexagram XLVIII.
[The diary returns to the handwriting of Crowley]
10.50 General Course. Prepare simple statements, showing the trouble brought upon (1) the people of the Abbey [Abbey of Thelema] (2) Estai [Jane Wolfe] (3) Loveday [Raoul Loveday] and his wife [Betty May]—her return to drunken harlotry in Soho Mudd (5) A.C. himself. S.E. [Sunday Express] surely no intention of causing such disasters to absolutely innocent folk. [Everard] Feilding etc. would be witnesses to character—A.C. a most eccentric person, but they know of nothing essentially dishonourable or immoral. Their presence would help O.P.V. to a hearing, add weight to his mission, and ensure true witness.
11.25 By this plan, incidentally, I fulfil my Hierophantic task towards the S.E. (I have been thinking of them in all sorts of wrong ways, except in the letter to Beaverbrook). If I can induce them to right the wrong, without compulsion, I shall raise the whole tone of the Press as has never been done. This would clear the way for my intervening in Labour disputes and the like. The only way to conquer is not by struggle, but by each side acting righteously and nobly. This is more than "appealing to people's better feelings"; it should be quite selfish. They should see of their own accord that "Honesty is the best policy".
11.40 My position. I have done many eccentric and indiscreet things in my life. Some of these may be explained by sheer ignorance of the world, by a peculiar innocence as of one who has never become fully adult: some by bravado, the desperate protection devised by extreme shyness; some by tendency to symbolic self-expression, as the only way to manifest a disgust born of my poet's indignation: some by childish vanity, "shewing-off"; some by the impulse to romantic and chivalrous action: some by the exaggerated sense of justice: some by a high-spirited fondness for practical jokes: some by extravagant reaction against shame: some by sheer silliness: but I cannot accuse myself of deliberately wronging or harming any other person: or of acting in a spirit of hatred or revenge or of falling short in any respect of the ideally high standard of honour inherited from my father, and taught by precept and example in my early childhood by him.
1—Gardenal contains phenobarbital, a barbituate.
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