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Leah Hirsig Diary Entry Sunday, 21 September 1924
Sept. 22, 1924 1.30 P.M. Hotel du Maine, Paris
Foreword.
I copy from scraps of paper what I have written up to now beginning Sept. 21 2.30 A.M.
This diary is the beginning of a Magical Career of one who knows herself as Babalon.
Diary of Alostrael 31-666-31, The Scarlet Woman.
Sept. 21, 1924 e.v.
2.30 A.M. I have just been out and returned a few minutes ago. I could not sleep and hot having any more nails to bite I had to have some cigarettes. I also got a bottle of white wine and I intend to drink as much as I can keep down.
Today's events (i.e. Sept. 20) shaped themselves beautifully. I visited Dr. Jarvis [Dr. Charles Jarvis] after I had bullied A.C. into getting his things packed and sorting the books. When I got back from Jarvis I found they had gone (as I expected) and that Mc. Bride was not home. The concierge's wife kicked me in the back and the man beat my face. I reported the matter to the police who could do nothing. They called a second police to the tenement and he insisted that I get out. I did.
After waiting a long time on the bench for Mc. Bride (she didn't appear but Mme. Strix did!) I went to the C.T. and Herald and met more idiots.
Finally I went to the Dôme and asked Kingsley to leave a note for Mc. Bride if she wasn't home, and to tell her to come to the Dôme as soon as he called. She wasn't home. I waited. No Mc. Bride. So I sent her a telegram (9 P.M.) and came to this place to get a room. Letter from O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] and enclosure of copy from Alma [Alma Hirsig] from Palermo.
Then to Dingo where I dined and met Lambert. He promised me faithfully he would see a judge or somebody like that to-night and send me a petit bleu early in the morning. I instructed Mc. Bride to call here at 9 in the morning. Nous verrons.
Home and bed writing letters. No sleep. I took a solemn oath to carry out the 207[1] affair to a finish—noted it in my Thelema book. It is badly worded—(on re-reading, is it?)
I vow to do everything legal (first) and illegal if that fails, to get from those people substantial compensation for what I have endured. (This is not what I mean but it sounds moral and I won't forget what I mean.)
I praise the gods in white wine that A.C. is out of the way. The exterior motive in not settling the 207 affair himself was mere spite and sex-craziness but I understand the purport of it and I shall follow it to the very limit of human kindness. I am free from the drain of a dead weight and tho' I frankly confess I hated him as much as I did in the case of Ninette [Ninette Shumway], I understand the Magical side and I shall develop my own path as a result of it. This will not conflict with the relations in the future. It may have to be carefully adapted to them but from now on I am free, I am free. I am no longer the slave Kundry—I wonder if Wagner went far enough. Or perhaps I do not understand. However, now I shall live, not in service to Aleister Crowley with The Beast thrown in at times but in service to the Prophet of Nu, the prophet of Had, and the prophet of R.[a] H.[oor] K.[huit].
Thanks the gods, no more boots!
In reading this over I do not think this statement about hating him is quite true. I had to appear to hate him just to make him do some necessary things. The same applies to the statement about spite and sex-madness on his part. I feel now as though I could again have human passions of the kind that are natural to my true nature with a definitely deeper, subtle and higher purpose.
I repeat my first statement to A.C. (in N.[ew] Y.[ork]) "I love you for your Work."
This could lead to a lengthy account but I refrain.
Another glass of wine, another cigarette and if I am able to crawl to a taxi to-morrow I shall start my campaign.
My original statement that A.C. would have no use for me (Alma's too) once he became prosperous is also true (on the surface).
I should like to get fixed up so that I might do a little reading along Magical lines. I don't know whether I need this but I would like to give it a fair trial.
But my first and most vital work is A C T I O N.
Much later.
And now my peace of mind is perfect. I shall sleep like a babe for I have received as an answer to my R.H.K. invocation.
"But there is that which remains"!
Saw Aimée [Aimée Gouraud]. I have a firm fast friend there.
Wrote Beast as follows (after 4 P.M. but not long)
The Beast 666
93
I hereby renounce the title The Scarlet Woman and pass it on to the "Scarlet Concubine of his desire", the daughter of Babalon.
93 93/93 Babalon
As the secretary of a British Subject I wish to put before you the following:
Mss., B[oo]ks and personal belongings entrusted to me and the property of E.[dward] A.[exander] C.[rowley] holding a British Passport are being held legally perhaps by the proprietor of an apartment leased to Miss Dorothy Olsen at 207 Boulevard Raspail.
I ask you as Guardian of the rights of British subjects to protect this property. Mr. Crowley is at present not in Paris.
Yours truly,
L.[eah] H.[irsig]
I must note these things. I feel certain that the Equinox Ceremony should be performed with the old and new S.[carlet] W.[oman] every[2] 5 years. There should be an actual link.
I trust the gods to send my thoughts to To Mega Therion and that he act on them or not as the Gods will.
My letter of to-day may of course be that link in which case bodily presence is not necessary for the act, but I think my presence is necessary as scribe.
The time of writing the above is not known as I have no clock but I think it must be 11 - 12 P.M.
"The Establishment of The Law of Thelema is at stake. Let me see you before the Ceremony" (not said aloud)
To Mega Therion The Beast 666 Thou hast no right but to do thy will. Do that and no other shall say thee nay. Babalon (I uttered these words aloud as a direct message to Beast)
After repeating an urgent call to come here tomorrow morning at 6 or to let me hear from him before the Ceremony I read Cap. 1 and 2 of CCXX.
"The end of the hiding of Hadit"
In reading I repeated 1-44 and 1-53 (beginning "Also o scribe and prophet" to end of verse) They struck me as important as this time.
Long long after this
My mind is beginning to work like a man's.
I have no more sleep in me that Aimée's dogs had in the Bois but what the hell shall I do—no books, no more paper for letters, no more nails to chew, no scissors to cut off the part I can't chew but ought to cut. It is a hell of a life.
Well, there is nothing to do but scribble.
I'm thinking about the working out of the Yod Hé Vau Hé formula in practical life, for the herd.
There is the physiological problem.
Then too, what about incest and present day theories that it breeds a poor race?
The birth control problem can evidently only apply to magicians, natural or trained, who direct the sexual energy to creating "intellectual or artistic" offspring.
The whole thing should, I think, be solved by finding a method of not mixing the planes.
I am really exhausted. I do so want to sleep. I'll try again.
I looked out to see the clock and I think its about 3. Good night.
Beginning to get light 4.20 it looks like.
Virgin — Wife — Whore I had an idea about that but where does the mother come in?
All this is just to do something for I cannot sleep. There might be the germ of something in it. Any how its not my job to work it out.
It is not 2.30 P.M. Sept. 22/24 e.v.
I have copied all the above as a preliminary to what is to come. I preserve the original and though I was tempted to edit this as I went along I refrained except in one instance which is marked. I shall however do so, in red, later for I see how very badly it is written. But not now.
1—[Refers to items belonging to Crowley that were being held at 207 Boulevard Raspail, Paris, an apartment leased to Dorothy Olsen.] 2—Later—I meant as 5 years ago.
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