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Leah Hirsig Diary Entry Friday, 26 September 1924
What a night I've had! God!!
Letter from 666 and telegram.
I wrote American Consul, Hunt, Goirand, 666 and O.P.V. [Norman Mudd] [Hirsig to Mudd, 26 Sep. 1924] and Montgomery Evans. [Hirsig to Evans, 26 Sep. 1924]
Had a bath and feel better all around except my chest. It is so hard to breathe.
Wrote and wrote; Brilliant idea—cable Fanny for money.
Planning my two campaigns.
a. 207[1] b. Hansi These to fit in to big campaign either preparatory or collusive.
For (a) I need Consul or solicitor and first of all Carte d'identite
For (b) I need newspaper man—Montgomery Evans as my agent.
6.00 P.M. I have made all arrangements and will leave the envelopes etc; with Aimée [Aimée Gouraud]. I no longer feel the need to leave the instructions etc. duly stamped and witnessed. The day of officialdom is over (you wouldn't believe it if you'd had the experiences I have had recently) but it is.
My servants shall be few and secret. They shall rule the many and the known.
The slave shall serve.
It is my will to live till the morning so that I may deliver all my possessions to a responsible party.
I sent a note to Ella Burgin some time this afternoon. She was not in.
And then. Lambert appeared!
How wonderful are the Gods. Somewhere I noted that he had failed me but he came in at exactly the right moment. He is coming back to fix things up for me. (He had no notion of what was in my mind—Dec. 12.) I shall then dictate to him that which I have to say and he will keep one copy and enclose the rest in parcel 2 to be marked N.
I chuckle with delight. Now I shall rest so that I shall be ready to say that which I have to say, for there is much still to be done.
[A later recounting of the day]
I telegraphed Aimée that I was dying.
She came round at about 4 and was such a dear. The Dr. who called about that time assured me that I was not dying. Certainly not? But he has never seen a Thelemite die. She has seen many people die but never a Thelemite.
So I decided that I had been weak and after an awful struggle finally realized that I could neither live nor die with the idea in my mind that 666 ought to come back and settle the 207 affair. When I finally acknowledged to myself that my one salvation was to stick to my oath I became tranquil. I didn't sleep, of course, but I prepared to rest well and be ready to get up about Monday.
I planned to go to the country with Ella Burgin, so as to have my Carte d'identite ready when I again approached 207. I sent her a note. I made other plans too.
Then and only then did I know positively that I could die. The gesture in each case was enough. The gesture is what counts. Sometimes you have to carry it out and sometimes you don't but
1. Make the gesture. 2. Be prepared to carry it out or not.
Lambert came in as I had just about completed my preparations.
I've done more since he went out and when he gets back we'll finish up.
Then I won't go and sleep with my Maker in the Christian sense.
But I shall go and go and go __________ and keep going.
All this write up is unintelligible without knowing previous facts. They are recorded on bits of paper in Envelope marked E. Anyway, Beast knows them.
I intend making a statement to Lambert for him to present to the Press. O.P.V. will have the original and as soon as the things are out he will publish the actual documents to show how the Press works.
That will be great sport.
We're out to kill the Press and we'll do it.
We're out to kill officialdom and we'll do it.
We're out to kill Christianity (what's left of it) and we'll do it.
We're out to kill and we'll bloody well kill.
A word to Dorothy [Dorothy Olsen]. She is the Scarlet Woman and she will show her failure or her success quite differently to previous Scarlet Women for she is the Mother of a race of a new Dynasty. How I would love to write up my ideas of succession and breeding and all that. But it isn't my job. That will be done by My Beloved Beast all in good time.
He will arrange everything for the New Civilization.
And I shall live in that Civilization I suppose. I don't know and don't care.
I hop they'll have proper pencils and fine paper. I should have liked all I have to say on vellum and so on but it doesn't matter at all. How could I expect it in this age of the death of Commercialism.
A Thelemite doesn't need to die with a doctor poking at him. He finishes up what he has to do and then dies. That's what Poupée did. She didn't pay attention to anything or anybody. Her eyes grew filmy and she died with a grin on her face. Such a wise grin. I'm going to ask Lambert to write a true account of what happens (for us) and to give to My Big Lion.
I've just sung "Rejoice" from the Messiah.
The law of reversal. Even my name Leah—usually meaning The forsaken. Also The Scarlet Woman.
We'll have to make a new Skeat—keep the old one for reference of course and you'll find it will be a case of parallel columns just like my idea of printing my actual statement side by side with a Journalist's report on reading of it.
It's a great life if you don't weaken.
The War Engine is the look of a Magician. Try it and see them fall before you.
The spot where I am buried will be called "The grave of a known woman".
Now I'm getting flippy so I'll shut up.
Sept. 26
1. First and foremost—the affair at 207 Blvd. Raspail.
Things to do
1. Hunt for Hansi dossier with letters from Ninette etc. Ask him to undertake the thing as my agent. He has not yet replied and has probably stuck the papers on to one of his duty shelves. Retrieve these if necessary for Alma's prosecution.
2. A.C.'s written request to Boutreux to give back fur coat, the receipt of which he said he had mislaid. Consult Goirand about this as he had the case in hand.
3. Things at Rue Lamarck. Receipt and your list among papers marked Envelope.
4. Deliver pamphlet to Lord Beaverbrook.
5. Get in touch with Charlie Loebman, Solicitor, about the 207 Blvd. Raspail affair. Refer him to Dorothy's [Dorothy Olsen] father (address on back of Banker's Trust paper in B).
6. Make every use of all these points to get and keep the campaign for the Establishment of the Law of Thelema going. Sue Alma and 207 Blvd. Raspail people. This should give you sufficient cash at the right time to carry on with.
7. 200 francs remain in envelope (4). Also receipt for payment in advance of 100 francs. 2 nights bill plus meals and stamps, telegrams etc. The people are honest and about the only decent ones I have met in a long while. Pay the girl in the office 25 francs and the garcon the same out of the 200 left here.
8. Save any of my Magical weapons for Dorothy.
9. Give Aimée Gouraud the miniature of me—in my bag at 207.
10. To Ninette [Ninette Shumway] I leave the care of my most precious possession—my son—Hans Hammond until such time as prescribed by the Beast 666.
1—[Refers to items belonging to Crowley that were being held at 207 Boulevard Raspail, Paris, an apartment that had been leased to Dorothy Olsen.]
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