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Aleister Crowley's Comments on the November 1923 "Retirement" Diary Entries of Norman Mudd
[Norman Mudd has fallen in love with Leah Hirsig and proposed marriage to her.]
November 1923
I
. . . subject to rapidly changing moods of alternate gaiety and extreme depression.
This is the evidence that the whole affair was on Black Lodge business. In judging the matter I allowed full weight to the possibility that A.C. was butting in. It was O.P.V.'s [Norman Mudd] complete loss of mental and moral self-possession that left no doubt as to the nature of the trouble.
O.P.V. is Ruach in our יהוהּ.
morbid.
Yes
I saw that 4 components of my fixed refusal to surrender my conscious Will and judgment.
Not judgment. OPV is the apparatus for gaining intellectual expression to the S.[carlet] W.[oman]—produced from the Word 93 of 666.
(a) Good.
(b) We knew: saw you were practically insane.
Die I
1. My attitude about the Comment was frightfully bad and dangerous.
True.
2. Perfect love casteth out all fear.
Apparent carelessness about Script.
Refer to Events 1904-09. 666 now trusts the Gods and uses no more than ordinary care.
letter written in own hand.
Can't understand illusion. Possibly some rhetorical [illegible].
Utter folly of craving for conscious sympathy of The Beast.
You have it, of course, as any Star has. When you fail to feel it, suspect that you have misunderstood—through not having killed the Ego yet.
Die II
"She is not technically adulterous ———"
Her ———— married man qualifies her, I think.
But —— and came across cases where a formal marriage etc.
E.g. that of 666.
the Beast (who was openly hostile)———
No. I was very tired. I was magically startled. I thought of OPV's actions on Aug. 23 Q.M. as intentional deceit. Also, I was arguing. But I did not fail in love in my heart. I thought of CCXX 59-60.
(which alone of these charges really wounded me)
I meant to do so—the only way to heal you. You don't know even yet, the nature of your lesson.
He repeated his accusation.
Merely rhetorical: "In fact what do you want?"
3
But I can speak with complete certainty of my conscious purpose——
But it is the nature of the case—the most insidious feature of it—that a man fools himself completely.
I accepted, again without reflection, this object as the sole one involved.
But why should such a plan upset you mentally as it did?
——capable of intriguing w[ith] Alostrael behind his back.
Your denial of Aug 23. Also: no man alive is to be trusted when "in love". The state is definitely pathological, and must be regarded and treated as a form of pure insanity. All history teaches that a man's normal character simply vanishes when he 'falls in love'.
Note the popular phrase 'falls in love', 'falls' sick'. He is no longer able to use his energies at all, is wholly subject to a force like gravitation.
I am afraid I was cowardly ——— when Beast failed to take me up on my unguarded exclam. "Oh Well! I hope this performance has knocked any such nonsense out of her".
This is the amazing remark which made me think you "sly and hypocritical".
marriage idea—it and my love for Alostrael were quite disconnected in my mind.)
Yet they were joined in your avowal.
Marriage of S[carlet] W[oman] — arranged in accordance w[ith] needs of the G[reat] W[ork].
'Marriage' is a magical act, with its own inherent powers. What you intend before hand to achieve thereby matters little; you are in a man-hap.
Then, whether or not I ever saw Alostrael again—
Which would of course be decided at a seance with the Ghost of Mrs. Braddon.
Unforgettable link of love and comradeship.
Methinks the robber doth protest too much. The loss of the sense of humour was a bad sign.
The imaginary marriage which I have supposed would be potent to study and inspire me.
I cannot see how.
The writing of this has made me very sad.
CCXX—II—56.
Being perfectly happy about this—why I had found it necessary to write on this at such length———
Yes: much cry, little wool.
Die III
Each must be handed, so to speak, with
(1) Word of Law (2) Mark of Beast (3) Name of T[rue] W[ill]
Yes—this gives an excellent technical method: just the sort of thing I meant.
(You say in connection with complementary functions of Beast and S.W.—"I gave it to Alostrael the day I reached Tunis"—
I have no recollection of it [31-666-31 (Leah Hirsig)].
Re adultery—Anne Boleyn—
No: this is the regular scriptural use. Adultery does not imply marriage, or whoredom and fornication commercialism.
Jealous of Alostrael etc.
I noticed this long since.
Against Huxley etc. but not against Hume, Russell etc.
All this is part of the homosexual masochisto complex.
Re false Ego— Now in the hands of The Beast—invade it and finish it once for all.
No: this is a matter of 8º=3o and I do not want any precocity. I want you to go through the A∴A∴ curriculum rigidly. I propose that you should write out your chapter of LXV and send in a new very condensed record of your Probationership at the Winter Solstice.
Die IV
harmonious delight in mere existence of things. Disinterested interest—the essence of both joy and laughter.
Good!
Declaration. P. 2—re loss of serving independently of its Priest etc.
Yes; tho' of course a Magus doesn't know what he is doing 9/10 of the time.
P. 9.
Yes, things nearly went smash thro' OPV's secret revolt.
Being in love = "chronic sexual obsession"—
Yes
The most I could say would be that my love for her had at times an element of physical desire.
But it reduced your mind to pulp!
Love for Harry D.[oughty] (which is courage—love pure and simple)
So you think.
D. Troxel [Dorothy Troxel].
Yes, Wesrun is the girl to work with OPV. as 31-666-31 with me. She must be dug up and delivered 'this side up with care': to 666 first for training and then to her permanent job when ready.
Die V
I had no suspicion that I was hardly sane, and imagined that I was thinking with exquisite justice.
One does: this is the devil of such ordeals.
If being in love with X means a state of chronic dissipation with the 'pain of division' from X *———
Yes: not in Going: to love (under will) is to radiate actively: to be in love is to be banged about.
* continued—unsatisfied but only in the sense of unexhausted.
All this seems self-deluding sophistry: for all your symptoms were those of a passive pedderast.
Die IX
Yes: I think you are all right. Remember (obviously) to apply this crisis to general affairs—your own and others.
So get busy.
Yours 93 93/93
666
Excerpts from Diary—Re (7)
Devotion to Alostrael as Venus. She is a moon Marriage with Alostrael—nothing else will suffice, but it seems incredible and I dare not think too much of it.
Why so? If a man were formally to make her adulterous?
Beast's impatience is very distressing.
He is overworked etc.
Beast's intellectual and philosophical weakness and incompetence.
I doubt if you understand one 10% I have been thru' the mill on the spot, with more philosophers then you know the names of. Besides, once one is really aware of the nature of the Ruach, one looks at all these problems from above. To me your philosophy is me circle squaring. How could I—why should I—waste my time in following your puerile sophistries?
Puritanical—
I consider 93 very Puritanical in one sense.
Sept 23 Beast's apparent attitude of possession to Alostrael.
No: unity with her. She is "mine" just as my liver is.
Accusation of "abominable conduct".
It is my will to insist upon proper respect from people in my environment. If you don't feel it, out you go: who cares? This is the ordinary quality of manhood.
Sept. 27 Preparing for Act of Truth—conversation (during dinner) of The Beast was really (tho' not quite obviously) relevant to matter "Obey my prophet"
Oh Susannah! I spoke in very stern parables.
I expect an ordeal of utter shame before Alostrael.
If you only knew: I was touch-and-go my saying, first time you came into the room, "There's a chance of orifices: go to it" and filling a fresh pipe. But I couldn't inflict it on you: I'm getting tender-hearted in my old age.
Notes on Notes
a. AL—II—53 does not say that I fall but only they that see me shall fear. Consider this with regard to your theory that I have been off the rails, and mine that my Magick has been working (continuous to [illegible]) all the time.
b. About machinery: In the new conditions most modern machinery would be economically absurd. In all probability no special regulations would be necessary.
c. Attributions of the letters to the geomantric figures, i.e. to the planets in their signs and 5 letters to the elements. The attributions are in one of my small Japanese vellum Magical MS. [illegible] thought it was copied. into 777—if not it may be in the twin 777 or in my No. 5 Eq[uino]x private copy, (bound in buckram) in Cefalu.
d. Our difficulty comes from our delusion that numbers etc. etc are something different to what they really are.
e. Alostrael [Leah Hirsig] has at present an inhibition about doing her appointed share of this work. She offers ridiculous excuses, which (coming from a lady whose custom it is to conceive bastards under staircases), overwhelm me with laughter.
f. You talked of saving civilization in this plan of Holy Kings; but the Secret Chiefs have given me no hint that this can be done. As you know, they picked me for my literary abilities so that the methods of attainment might survive the catastrophe which they foresaw as inevitable and which is presumably part of their programme. In Chap. III of AL I cannot find a word about averting world-wide disaster to Syphilisation. We have to save what is worth saving, no doubt, but I imagine that your waistcoat pocket should suffice.
g. It should be rewritten to avoid obscurities. I want a copy sent to Cabell [James Branch Cabell], Oscar Levy, and similar minded men.
You can state that I have the required Praeter-human Powers but am inhibited from using them in one important direction by my original Magical Oath, so that I want associates whom I can train secretly to boss the planet. I want to start a sort of Porch [illegible] for picked men supplied with sufficient funds to get any conveniences we require travel, wherever necessary etc.; with a nucleus of 1/2 dozen suitable men who must be sworn, of course, to go the whole hog according to my plans, I think that within 18 mos. we ought to be able to bring about any desired political event at a few days notice and so gradually yet rapidly assume the reins of secret government.
(I feel quite confident about the OTO Work. no sooner did I get to perform the fundamental operation (this is no pun, you naughty man) than the man on whom I relied fell suddenly and mysteriously sick.
h. I assume that you know the Lion to be the male seed, the Eagle the female gluten.
i. Always: that is especially at the moment when most tempted to think of physical matters. This point of concentration is critical. Note that this practice should be of great physical advantage to you. You should be able to report in a month of 2 that your whole condition in this respect is immensely improved.
j. I should like your criticism on the Secret OTO Books—not so much De Natura Deorum as the VIII° De Nuptius [De Nuptiis Secretis Deorum cum Homnibus], IX° Commentary on Liber C [Liber Agape Azoth sal Philosophorum], and the X° Essay on the Homunculus [De Homunculo]. These documents date from before my last journey to America and do not in all respects represent my present views.
k. These notes on your Retirement
Records are casual jottings and must not be considered as
complete or final. They seem hardly intelligible as they
stand without reference to your record. (No Alostrael seems
to have managed things finely.) I want you to realize the
difference between
Luna is tripartic, the Pure Virgin, the Mother, the Hag. She is not in any case connected with Sexual love even in the 2nd stage. Remember Luna as the Senses and the common people. Note her relation to Sol concentrated with Venus' relation to Mars. Contrast the children of Venus and Luna. Bacchus with the twins. Even at their highest points Venus and Luna are distinguishable. The quality of ecstasy is different. Luna is much more spiritual and material. The Nun and the sexless-prostitute or drunkard are Luna. Venus rises to romance and sinks to debauchery. Luna is always single-minded and pure in the true sense of the word. With Venus there is always much poetic illusions. Luna illusions or rather glamour is much more complete. Note Luna on Tree as Binah, path of Gimel, Yesod and Malkuth, with influence in paths of Taurus, Cancer and Pisces. Venus in path of Daleth, the Netzach, with influence in Taurus, Libra and Pisces. Note Taurus and Pisces as points of contact discriminating carefully between them at just those points.
Puritanism of AL. End of I—42 II—70 End of I—51 and 52
in this and several other places there is an evident implication that righteousness is more necessary then ever before. It is one of the paradoxes of an initiation that the higher one goes the greater freedom on obtains but the more important is it to coordinate the motions of that freedom. Obviously the more opportunities of action one has, the more chance is there or unwittingly creating internal conflict. E.g. Kelvin's Presbyterianism—if he had analyzed himself fully he would have found his science incompatible with his religion. Doubtless the concealed antimony hampered him. Such troubles do not threaten men of comparative [?] limited freedom, Hottentots, Arch-bishops, etc.
Note that perfect freedom of movement implies what amounts to complete inhibition of disordered action. The slightest error in the working of a delicate electrical apparatus leads to much more serious results than a disturbance of a million times the magnitude in a cartwheel. Compare a machine gun and a Colt .44.
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and
—confusion
is the source of much misunderstanding.