16 July 1910 - Meredith Starr Diary

Saturday, 16 July 1910

Walked from Waterloo to Oxford Circus with Om Mane Padme Hum. . . . I began to perspire slightly as soon as I started mantra.

Time. 2 — 3 p.m. Recited Invocation to and followed it with the 169 Adorations. When I had finished I noticed a very curious change in the atmosphere. . . . A feeling akin to the sensation of holiness felt in some churches.

Result. I find the minute cycle very difficult—especially so if I have to keep looking at my watch. I will try to do without the watch and meditate on Om Mane Padme Hum. Asana very painful. . . . worst of all when I try to get up.

3 — 5 p.m. Slept. . . . Burnt a lot of Isis incense.

Because I dream within your dusky hair

My soul drifts gently down a silver stream;

My heart is happy, and the night is fair

Because I dream.

Silent the stars above us gloss and gleam,

Melodious waters murmur everywhere,

Far music sighs some sweet unearthly theme.

Lost to existence; free from thought or care,

We drift beyond the utmost far extreme,

Drinking in silence, slowly, unaware,

Our happy dream.

Unfathomed longings stir this soul to tears,

Wonderful visions pass before these eyes,

Half-shadowed fancies, where the dawn-light peers,

Loom in the skies.

Surley the Soul in Memory's face descries

The dim, delicious languors of past years—

Passionate questionings and low replies?

Somewhere there is a door; it disappears

Ere I have glimpsed it; and behind it lies

A brilliance whiter than the dew-pearled tears

7 — 8 p.m.

Concentrated (Breathing) 7 — 7.30. Asana not so painful. . . . but I think I shall give up the position—as I find it quite impossible to keep my back straight. . . . the muscles in my legs seem to contract the muscles which are situated between shoulders and hips. . . . This makes the breathing very painful—and practically useless.

Tried vibration of God Name.

9 — 9.30 p.m. Ritual (invoking) of Pentagram. Invocation to (in Equinox No. III).

Went to bed at 10 p.m.—got up at 8.30 a.m. but how long I slept I cannot possibly say. Passed a very curious night. I seemed to be awake most of the time—but cannot say for certain. The idea of was predominant. . . . I seemed to be making up rituals to part of the time.

Various curious things happenedbut I cannot remember them. . . . I thought them remarkable at the time.

[234]