A.M.

Yesterday asked Russell [C. F. Russell] about unpublished Equinox. He thinks it fine—rough on Christianity—great magical opposition. And as to the publication thereof: All eternity, a million years (or some such statement), the gods are not worrying.

But—

While all eternity is at our disposal, has not A.C. this incarnation, and this only, in which to get all this Aeon work started?

^[1]

Do we incarnate to accomplish a certain, definite work, and there-fore does not time enter in?

Took 3 small doses of heroin last evening. No result so far as visions are concerned. Eyes affected, as with liquor—slightly. Vomited crossing the hill. Deep, restful slumber.

Waked this A.M. 7:20—try work but cannot accomplish anything. Have not done any of my concentration work nearly as well since experimenting with drugs, but there can be no loss as I feel some complexes have been eliminated. Due to drugs, or had the time arrived for elimination? Why has liquor not done this same thing?

P.M.

Russell to Palermo on 5:35 a.m. and back again at 8.

Why do I continue to be so upset? Feel as rigid physically (and therefore mentally) as a rusty engine. My stomach bad, bad.

I see the portrait A.C. painted last night—in about half an hour! Incredible and beautiful. Also did he give me a small panel, which satisfies me but which he says is not a picture.