A.M.

Same kind of night.

10:07-25

Asana.

Quieted down somewhat in this—got one glimpse of Impersonal Mind, and realized these past 5 or 6 nights’ lack of sleep result of personal mind, which then seemed so petty.

10:25-44

Dharana.

Stuck to the guns, O yes—working in my room. Peasants jabbering, etc., could hold gold disk but it was like looking at a page without reading a word.

10:45-11:03

Harpocrates.

Principally a getting into larger fields. At one time became egg, water & everything in picture.

Realized I have admitted a detrimental current, but do not know how or where. Have been trying Simon Iff. Cannot do this, improper understanding, no doubt. Work this A.M. has helped I hope.

20 ‘ Pranayama.

Greater freedom of physical channels.

I wonder if it is possible for one to tighten the blood vessels. For several years I was constipated. Then one night in California, waking, somehow I discovered that I was holding my bowels rigid. Discovered quite some time before that, that I held my stomach so.

P.M.

^[1]

Some time back Lea [Leah Hirsig] mentioned sexual “restrictions” by the Beast. The matter revolved itself in my mind, because of the Oath, for, to an outsider, it suggests attachment. Can the Beast limit the Scarlet Woman sexually, no matter what the pretext or reason? May the Scarlet Woman limit herself?

If so, it might be the loop-hole: otherwise wretched Scarlet Woman if -----

Draft an essay on Abbey.

20’ bum concentration.

23’ Pranayama, 10-20.

9:50-10:10

Asana.

Got at first, afterwards lost entirely. Broke posture once.

10:10-20

Dharana.

Poor. Head aching, ears buzzing. (From capsule of salol taken 1/2 hr before beginning work?)

10:30-45

Harpocrates.

Harrah! Worked entirely outside physical, for I got away from head-ache, buzzing, etc. It can be done. (Horrible discovery!)

^[1]

I have been going over Genesthai’s [C. F. Russell] stupor from a wine indulgence—“drunk” Shummy [Ninette Shumway] calls it. Considering the regime under which he works, this is small enough. I have gone over Lea’s battles (as told me & what I witnessed), Shummy’s, and my own. Each several months in reaching the crest, after which, though one did fall back, it was but momentary, so to speak. Genesthai’s appetites his fight at present? And why shorten the time for him?