A.M.

Retired at 11, waked 2:10. Lay awake till 5, head aching, from Salol? Then wept a bit in weariness. Disturbed sleep between balance of A.M.

^[1]

Have worked out in Yoga something I do not yet understand. In December said I was working on astral. Recently have written “nervous organism”. With this in mind have worked from throat downward, spot between shoulders, solar plexus, hip section and, just recently, down legs and into feet. Since steadying nerves in legs & feet?—since working on astral of legs & feet?—since appealing to intelligence in cells of legs and feet?—or whatever it may be, I seem to have come to a clearing in the forest, for from this section of body do I look out over space—it takes me from the personal to the Impersonal, first sensed in this way yesterday A.M. in Asana.

No salol to-day. Shall discontinue 2 days, then continue with 2 capsules a day.

15’ Asana (attempt)

10’ Dharana—nothing.

P.M.

4:00

Have the gods come to the rescue?

After tiffen I type on E String till 2:30, then decide to woo sleep. I lie in mental turmoil till 3:40. I assume body fell asleep at 3.45. I was busy, in a way I cannot recall, then occurred the following.

A man seated in north of Circle, a man with whom I am in some way acquainted, he hailing from Australia. I near box in West and between West & North. Some one seated in West. My feet on white circle. Something, Invocation I think going on. Man then started formula alone, words I do not recall if, indeed, I understood them at the time. I then observed he changed from apparently simply saying the words to a very definite method, which required conscious use of soft palate, I believe—this way bringing much magic to his aid. I then noticed a most intense atmosphere, more & more charged, till I said to myself I cannot continue in this current—I must leave Circle. All pressure was through or against what I believe similar to “nervous organism” on interior plane—or was it the same?

^[2]

New current started February 25? Since then I have been sleepless & the last few days there has been most distinct pressure and anything arising in me, involuntarily, has been antagonistic to A.C. Lea [Leah Hirsig] suggested subconscious fear of Rock. But after diligent inquiry during these last days I do not think so. It simply means an opening has been afforded & I have been attacked.

Later: A connection here with opium occurrence of February 22?

(P.S. Mar 15. Understand reason for this attack. I was “leaning”, waiting to be led: I had to be left “on the rocks” and attacked that I might realize this.)