I have for several days been typing A.C.’s Gnostic Records, and it now occurs to me to start what may turn out to be one of my own. Some days past I felt the need of more strength, and decided to investigate this method of securing it.

But I shall first write here some experiences of the past two months.

While typing Book 4, Part III [Magick in Theory and Practice], Nov. 12 [19]21, the sentence “the kisses of the stars rain hard upon my body” leaps out of the page. It inflames me slightly, & I go to work! Stumbling about along these lines, using Nuit, stars, etc., my imagination finally pictures phallus of mine Angel in the Arms, & I instantly sensed the Spiritual, and received the Spiritual significance of sodomy.

Nov. 14, working along these same lines—i.e., lying on my back, relaxed, and allowing sexual sensation to flow through me, which it did without (so it seemed) any assistance on my part)—the Phallus of my Angel seemed to fill my entire body and head. In some part of my being, I know not where, there was orgasm, intense. After a short interval again there was a similar internal orgasm, this time caused by a feeling (?) that I was the Phallus of mine Angel. No; that I was the skin surrounding it & was therefore a part of his body.

Dec. 31. “All day I have been conscious of sex force. Mon, 9.30 p.m., I have just had a realization of the Holiness and Sublimity of my work along these lines.” With this a consciousness of some teaching, some (shall I say) in this way that is impossible to obtain in any other way.

Therefore with this knowledge and that derived from the Records, I started a definitely planned campaign. So Jan. 5, feeling Sex force automatically flowing through me, I invoked Pan, and started work. As I wish to gain mental control it seems best to abandon imagination & therefore I titillated the arms—as I wish to rouse it. And also there is the “Spiritual Significance of Sodomy”. I stopped just before orgasm & consciously threw all the energy into reserve force. This seemed not only beneficial at the time, but there was a feeling of well-being all next day.

Jan 7, on retiring, again was sensation coursing through me. Again I invoked Pan, and then went to work as before mentioned. I also asked guidance in the matter. This time I slipped into mental concentration on any object (Energy). I held it well for a time, I think; [illegible] pressure I tired. This time orgasm started, but I managed to stop it. My long training in the control of “Dreams” is bearing fruit!

I then felt a desire to take heroin, which I did, asking for a message as to whether my work was correct. Tender heroin strength seemed to flow up my spine & into the head. After a time a something from a long distance away, descended into my head. There was a feeling of expansion and relaxation.

It has just occurred to me that this may be the “definite work shortly” of Dec 26, and the “nearing of the ____ of Initiation” of Dec. 31, mentioned by me in my other Record as “impressions” of “initiation” of something about to take place.

To date there is a feeling of better concentration all round.

Perhaps I should add that I have at no time undertaken work along these lines unless there has been an “automatic” sex sensation—I have not consciously called it up.

An XVII in . All this is very good; but I repeat the old warnings against being satisfied with subjective sensations however intense and convincing they may appear.

But in this instance there is confirmation. Yesterday, in ignorance of what Soror ESTAI was doing, I spontaneously remarked that her eyes were unusually brilliant, her complexion clearer than I had ever seen it before, hers was a most singularly pure and radiant. There is there independent evidence of the correspondence between the observed result and that which is theoretically to be expected from the operations performed. I am therefore ready to admit that her work has been successful; for there is no other explanation, the rest of the conditions (weather, diet, her mental and moral situation, etc.) being unfavourable to her well-being.

I recommend the employment of a material assistant such that emotional distractions are unlikely to disturb the sacramental concentration. The proper formation and consummation of the Eucharist requires careful attention. The Objects of the Working must be chosen systematically. My own Record has all the faults of pioneer-work: it contains much to avoid. There must be proper tabulation of the Experiments and strictly scientific observation. Sentimentality, sexual or spiritual, must be sternly suppressed. Compliance with these conventions should assure a success far greater than I have myself attained.

The Beast 666.