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Correspondence from George MacNie Cowie to Aleister Crowley
14 Glenisla Gardens, Edinburgh.
Feb 4-8. 1917.
Care Frater.
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
The day after I wrote you last, and just in time to miss that mail I daresay, the M.S. of Book IV part 4 came back. It had lain at the Bank and was returned as 'unclaimed'. In spite of the increased was risks I thought it as well to repost it immediately and it should reach you coincidentally with this letter, or almost so. Glad it didn't actually get lost.
Good news is that America has at last come in.
I wrote Windram [James Windram] last week as briefly (but as courteously) as possible. I thought it best to preserve stainless silence about the question of Ritual till it is seen if they are going to try to help financially or not. Better let it hinge on that.
About the mortgage [on Boleskine] the latest is that the lenders are holding out for 5 1/2 per cent. It's not settled and it's worrying me what will happen.
For the first time, partly to encourage S.L. [William Steff-Langston] partly that I wonder if he doubts my good faith, I have given him an account of the position I really am in at this minute. I could only round the corner at the end of the year by wiping out the last remaining bit of my loose capital, which I had kept for what I knew would be an emergency. The trouble is that another emergency may arise any minute and I'll get left this time. I had to borrow during Xmas week to tide me over till other money came in due.
About W[olfe] I've had the best possible accounts both from M. [Mary Davies] and Steff Langston. He has certainly been very modest and unobtrusive in Lodge work, and hasn't tried to push himself at all. The Buttinsky has been like another person and I haven't much confidence in my own judgement of character now. Anyway I was wise in that first instant to be cautious.
I'm feeling more like my normal self now, but these two years have taken as much off me as five before. I realise I'm not far off sixty and really with the ever increasing writing and all the rest of it, I hardly know how I can keep on, tied to my office hours and with enough to do after, as might call a day. What time is the Funeral? I feel beaten, and this latest worry added on does not help nor flame one's enthusiasm.
Wednesday. Mary [Mary Davies] has been mentioning lately a lady, a Buddhist, who has been hovering about 93 [Regent Street] lately. She described her as being very like Cremers [Vittoria Cremers] the same mannish way of dressing etc. I had a remarkable letter from M. [Mary Davies] last night, which I don't quite know how to take, it sounds like a fairy tale only it has an air of verisimilitude by the lady's knowledge of the fact that you have so agreeable an acquaintance over there. I'm hoping there is really something in it, nothing could be better than if you could come back, and vindicated in the way you promised me. I think it best to enclose the letter so that you can see for yourself, but I am not so sanguine as to imagine that 'a few weeks' will see all serene. I assured Mary that the reason given for your leaving here was not the true one (but perhaps a contributory cause) and that you were sure to make all right in due time. I'd told her nothing beyond the position at 33 [Avenue Studios].
I sent her the letter from Phelps and advised her to appoint W[olfe] to read it as a compliment to him. I know too well if I sent it to S.L. he'd find it essential that he should read it. It's very curious, as though a musician he can't read, they tell me, his voice is a monotone and when he tries to be very solemn and impressive it goes down to a gruff whisper. I let him peruse only, and show Mary the letter from F.B. [Frank Bennett] as a make weight, not to mortify him. I've now managed with A[lthea] to send F.B. books.
Out of deference to your supposed appointment I had introduced him (S.L.) by name to C-S-J [Charles Stansfeld Jones] and said the latter might communicate with him when he wanted any minor things and that S.L. could help with the idea about interchange of correspondence etc. I'm sorry now, as recent events make frank communication impossible and S.J. [Charles Stansfeld Jones] besides in enquiring of S.L. if he's A.A. etc and I know S.L.! You'll understand I don't want him asking S.J. what the 7 sided stone and all the rest of it is. But I purposely mentioned his exact grade at the outset, and I've told him he must pass his correspondence through me.
I think that the break up for the first time in years of my regular med[itation] practice had something to do with my almost breakdown in health. The worry that started in October just when things were going so well, and to tell the truth my own errors of judgement, spoiled my practice. I get back to it now at times. The mind goes fallow much better than it used to, when I am able to practice and the effect on my mental health, after, is marked. By the lord, I wish you hadn't 'chipped in' that time, it so befogged me.
M. [Mary Davies] is coming to lecture to Spiritualists in Glasgow about end of this month and will be the first person to be entertained in a House of the Order here. I'm very glad and we'll be able to have a good 'crack'. I came upon your poem The Sevenfold Sacrament amongst some old papers the other day and sent it to her as a nice task for one of the ladies to read in Lodge. She wishes me to send you her love, but she won't of course write. She has spoken for some time of going on a lecturing tour in Australia soon.
If the boofer [?] lady be all that is said, fate points to her as a heaven born D[eputy] G[rand] T[reasurer] G[eneral] till such time as we are satisfied that she is not Victoria [Vittoria Cremers]. I don't forget what came of putting implicit faith in the latter, and then she might relieve me of the 'orrible job that I'm in nowise fit for. I pine for a dissolute island where the only currency is shells! I can stick the rest of it, but money. . . .! I've asked Mary by the way if this doesn't suggest a way of settling the mortgage difficulty.
Thurs. 8th.
Mails are likely to be slower than ever but thank God that America has chipped in.
This thing of shreds and patches has had to be written in shreds and patches and there's only time for this last shred. No word from you up till this p.m. Note that I cannot send money even if there were any. My duty as to that is plain and you should understand. I know however that you are bound to be working for Universal Brotherhood and I assure our people it is so; even if it looks different.
Love is the law, love under will, so fraternally yours.
Geo M. Cowie.
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