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Correspondence from Wilfred Talbot Smith to Aleister Crowley
4 Oct 36
Care Frater 666
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.
To be so badly misjudged by you makes me very lothe [sic] to write. If personal considerations were the only ones I should find it very much more simple/ But something must be done to save the breaking up of the start that has been made—for the work, and for the others here who have put forth their efforts.
My deficiencies are glaring and only too well known, but to question my honesty, almost my only stock in trade—well it is to laugh.
Because I am not so nearly articulate as some others who write to you from here, I fell a little hopeless of the ultimate use of writing to you at all. I am just terribly sorry that you were not able to come and see the facts for yourself.
1. Finances. The charges are not precise, hence I find it difficult to put you straight. The facts are that for the purpose of having a Temple. I took this house, a far greater expense than I personally can afford. When Regina [Regina Kahl] was not working she cooked, scrubbed, etc, often for a lot of mid-Victorian troglodytes whom we had to take in to help out with expenses. Every cent she earned at odd times she threw in with mine. Now that she is working we have to pay to get the work about the house done. Her salary together with mine keeps things going, plus periodical cash to London. Every one else who has lived here has paid a nominal price.
I give you a monthly expense account, which does not include expenses for an occasional party, renewal of linen etc, etc, as well as wine, candles, incense, charcoal, music for the Mass [Gnostic Mass], roses.
I did not count or collect for the past year. This was Jacobi's job. At present time Sunday collection is 3 or 4 dollars a month.
On top of all this it costs me at least 200 dollars to fix up the Temple for the Mass, and the first two years I made no collections. Also I have bought furniture I don't personally want—chairs for the temple, 35 dollars; books for loaning, Bamber's Equinox. I could go on all night. And, incidentally, if some one does not help us with some cash pretty soon, I don't know how we shall carry on.
I have tried to give you as clear an idea as I can. I have not kept a record of my expenditure, never expecting any one would want to know how my salary was disposed of—much less you, who I thought discerned that all I have and am belongs to the Order.
2. I know of no commercial considerations entering into sexual relations. I speak for Jane, Regina and myself. It is a lousy suggestion, of course, but in the last 20 years—up to last Sunday as a matter of fact—I have defended so many of the same and other attacks on yourself, that I have got quite hardened and merely consider the source.
Of course, on the other hand, women who came here marries to avoid having to work for a living. Three as I remember.
3. Racket. I hardly need to say anything under this heading after giving you as brief and idea as I could of the cost to me personally of keeping this going.
From another source I am told "uniformity in robes for the Order constitutes black magic". I asked you several times what was the "characteristic robe of the Order." You made no reply. To save expenses to the Members, we bought a bolt of black serge at wholesale price, and had them made to the measurement of each individual.
In Vancouver uniformity consisted in evening dress. The Probationer's robe has a uniformity. I don't understand.
I am told you complain of my attitude towards you. I am not superstitious. I believe you the greatest man alive and the Logos of the New Age. I have pointed out, and shall continue, just as heretofore, to point out, the way to spiritual attainment on the lines laid down by the A∴A∴ And shall continue to interest others in the establishment of the O.T.O. as the means by which the social ills may be ameliorated.
And further extol your writing as the most clear, precise, technical literature on the subject. All this, whether or no you kick me out. I have a conviction, once an initiate always an initiate, unless and through failure to be true to oneself. Such I have not been.
In closing, may I say if we are to carry on together will you deal with me direct and not through a second person. It is written: "all must be done well and with business way." The first element of good business is to maintain authority. "Authority is absolute in the Order." You have so continually undermined it—a complaint of more than just myself—that it has been most difficult to carry on.
Money seems to be the great bone of contention. To recapitulate: To pay much better that 205 dollars a month, I received, up until Jacobi and Green left, about 90 dollars from sources other than salary—and by no means all of the time we have been operating. An additional thought comes to me in respect to the O.T.O. funds. In June I sent you a report of the finances at which time there was 48 dollars as a balance. I don't know what it is now, I understand you have the books. We have tried to hold back something in the bank to keep the account open, and because there have to be some funds on hand to operate. Also 50 dollars is still not rightfully the Order's until the members have taken the degrees for which that have paid in advance.
Love is the law, love under will.
Fraternally
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