A.M.

7:30 - 50

ASANA.

Thunderbolt at start: afterwards modified as an experiment.

7:50 - 8:10

DHARANA, yellow sq.

Difficulty in holding sq. Breath thro right nostril but not so effective as breath of last night.

Leg numb & lifeless.

HARPOCRATES.

Invocation.

Another Sept. 6 day—shall I ever get away from thinking of self! I am very tired.

P.M.

4:00

^[1]

Reading ‘Scented Garden of Abdullah’. Letter of Carey rather interesting, though a repetition of what I have seen elsewhere. Have often wondered why I am not a homosexualist, as the society of women means more to me that that of men—they stimulate, I was about to say my mind, but perhaps that is the effect. I enjoy the physical contact of women I love. Then, too, amorous advanced of men repel me, they seem rude and crude, lacking in delicacy.

5:00

On hill trying to straighten myself, but Nature give me nothing because I myself give nothing.

Demons seem to possess me: I feel insane at times.

10:15 - 35

ASANA.

Nothing satisfactory.

10:35 - 55

DHARANA, yellow sq.

Good to-night. Of course, lost many times, but could set up again without loss of much time & energy.

Breath left nostril, full & deep.

HARPOCRATES.

Invocation.

11:08

I am thinking about results—watching myself, criticizing myself. This must stop! Storm or peace, love or hate—let either come or go. But my whole being goes into hate as it does into whatever I do!